Carrie Nicole May—a nurse practitioner and founder of Chicago AF—shares her journey of organizing alcohol-free events and retreats, emphasizing the importance of genuine connections and shared experiences without the need for alcohol. From her iconic “No Booze Cruise” to her exciting plans for 2025 events, Carrie provides insights into creating spaces where everyone feels included and engaged.
Resources Mentioned:
- Carrie Nicole May: LinkedIn
- Brave Recovery Coaching: Website and Instagram
- Chicago AF: Website and Instagram
- Alysse & Libby: Bios & LinkedIn
Connect with Us:
- Website: www.beatsworkingpodcast.com
- LinkedIn: @BEATS WORKING Show
- Instagram: @beatsworkingshow
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- YouTube: @BEATSWORKINGPODCAST
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BEATS WORKING is a platform on a mission to redeem work—the word, the place, and the way. We believe that work is the most honorable act in the universe, and through inspiring stories and practical insights, we want to transform the way people think about work and help them discover greater fulfillment in their lives. We invite you to join us as we build community through sharing and actively demonstrating what we learn.
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Transcript
The following transcript is not certified. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. The information contained within this document is for general information purposes only.
Elise [00:00:00]:
Without a doubt. I have a lip gloss. I probably also have a telly tie, which is. It’s kind of like the modern day scrunchie. What I love about a telly tie is that, and this episode is not brought to you by telly Ties, although it could be in the future. Telly ties are great because they look like the old school rotary phone cords. So they give me that pop of nostalgia. They come in lots of different colors and you, you know, it’s great for throwing your hair up in a bun.
Elise [00:00:29]:
They do get stretched out. But what I love about them is when you put them in hot water, they kind of shrink back to their original shape. And I feel like that’s very metaphoric with events. Right? Events are going to stretch you out.
Carrie Nicole May [00:00:44]:
Yeah.
Elise [00:00:44]:
And it’s that getting back in the hot water, which is usually dead center right before an event or in the middle of the event, it’s going to bring you back and it’s actually good for you. It’s like those, you know, people sometimes think that stress is a bad thing. Not all stress is a bad thing. There’s a lot of good stress that happens that makes you even better at your. At your A game. Or in this case, I would say E game with events. And so I would definitely have, sorry, mom jokes for days, but I would definitely have my teletie. I would have at least one.
Libby Sundgren [00:01:15]:
I mean, I just want to say for people who might not know Elise, this sounds like we scripted this part of the conversation because she just flew in with this analogy. But as somebody who knows her very well, she did not script that. So the quick thinking and the cheese is just authentic.
Elise [00:01:42]:
It’s just authentic. It’s an authentic gift. Welcome to Beats Winning the Game of Events, where we share stories and strategies to turn any, any event or life moment into something unforgettable.
Libby Sundgren [00:01:55]:
Events are wild and the people who work in them are some of the most resilient humans on earth. If you know, you know.
Elise [00:02:03]:
So come with us behind the curtain for a look at their most memorable experiences.
Libby Sundgren [00:02:08]:
As they say, the show must go on. So let’s get on with the show.
Elise [00:02:19]:
Welcome to Beats Working, where we’re winning the game of events. I am Elise Bryson, one of your co hosts today, and I am so excited to introduce to you our next guest, Carrie Nicole May. She is a nurse practitioner specializing in emergency and hospitalist medicine, as well as a professional recovery coach. She is the founder of Chicago af, which is a nonprofit fostering alcohol free connections in the Chicago metro area. She Also has founded Brave, a boutique and adventure recovery coaching practice. She is passionate about creating off grid experiences for individuals in sobriety. And Carrie combines her medical background and coaching expertise to inspire meaningful transformations. And I have had a front row seat to watching Carrie grow these meaningful transformations digitally since we met on the Internet back in 2021, 2022, when you were earlier on in your Chicago AF event days.
Elise [00:03:25]:
And what I think is so ironic, or not ironic at all, is that you’re a nurse by day and an event planner by night. Because in both cases those roles are putting out emergencies, as we know, and putting them out in a way that makes everybody around them feel calm, that there actually isn’t an emergency happening. Because in both cases you want the people affected to be having a good experience. Right. Would you say that that’s true? That. That your days in nursing made you really well equipped to have days in event planning?
Carrie Nicole May [00:04:02]:
Definitely.
Elise [00:04:02]:
Well, Libby, I know you have some thoughts on this, Libby, as being more of the event planner of the two of us, that. And you are the one that. You’re like a duck. Like, you just look like you’re smooth sailing across the pond, but I know those little web feet are just going as fast as they can underwater.
Libby Sundgren [00:04:20]:
That’s what Dixie Duncan told to me very early in my event career. She was just this tornado of a coworker we had. She’s amazing. But she like spiraled out to my desk one day and I don’t know what we’re. I don’t even know what I was saying or what I was talking about, but she said you just have to be like a duck. Just be super calm above the water and underneath, your feet are just like going like this, like this, like this. For those who can’t see me, I’m paddling my hands like a. Like a crazy duck.
Libby Sundgren [00:04:53]:
That’s kind of what I feel like, honestly, sometimes. But that phrase really stuck with me and has always. It’s always something I think about when I’m, you know, whether I’m regular planning or in the midst of a crazy, you know, hair on fire situation at an event. It just, it’s like a mantra almost. Do you, Carrie, do you have a mantra that you use to get through nursing days and event days?
Carrie Nicole May [00:05:19]:
I don’t know if I could think of a mantra offhand, but I think it is just so, so cool because I’ve never really thought about the parallel between the two of what I do by day and then what I do with my free time, but I really enjoy it. And I re. For some reason, I don’t know, it’s not that I wanted to get into event planning, it’s just something that I really enjoy doing. And you’re right with like the analogy of the duck with the web feet because there’s so much underneath the water that nobody has any idea is going on ever, unless you share it with them. And most people don’t ask. So you really not talking? Yeah, I just, I always really strive to stay stay calm, cool and collected. Like what you see up, up on top of the water to pull it off. Like both at work and, and with the events.
Libby Sundgren [00:06:04]:
So nursing and events both can give you really long hours. I mean the nurses that I know work 12 hour shifts and the event planners I know also work 12 hour shifts. So how do you keep your energy going when you are in the middle of an event or when you’re before an event or after an event even? How do you keep yourself going? And are they the same things that you use in your daytime work?
Carrie Nicole May [00:06:35]:
Yeah, I like that question a lot. So it’s interesting. When I first started hosting retreats and all of the retreats I’ve. So I’ve done seven retreats to date, all sobriety of retreats for women so far they’ve all been off grid. So I’ve always been going to a place where I have absolutely no idea where I am. I am geographically challenged from birth. I mean, I don’t know how I got anywhere before the gps. My, my dad is an engineer and he’s brilliant.
Carrie Nicole May [00:07:02]:
He also is geographically challenged. So I know exactly where I get it from. But it was interesting. So I knew from the very beginning that I needed to protect my piece before the event starts. So at the very first, the very or the very first time I did a retreat, I know I, like, I knew I needed to get out there early. I didn’t know how early I needed to get out. First retreat, I just got there like one day, one night early. Now I know I need two nights and I, the girl that was helping me, I knew she kind of wanted to do some plans with other people and I just was very clear.
Carrie Nicole May [00:07:35]:
And so, you know, it’s sometimes a little hard for me just like say what I want to, but I just said I, I won’t be joining you. I, I need to be by my, I just kind of need to be quiet. I need to be by myself, I need to prep. And so I, I just kind of figured that out, that I just need some quiet time before this happens. And then that. That has served me very well with regards to, like, the retreat planning and then at home with like, events for the nonprofit and things like that. I’m a. I’m also a really big napper, like we were laughing about before this podcast started.
Carrie Nicole May [00:08:07]:
Because I do work. I do work 12 hour shifts and you know, and the. And the work doesn’t totally stop when I’m done with my shift. Cause I have to chart a lot, like. Cause I’m a provider and so you have to follow up on all your notes. And so I sometimes get up early and then I will take a nap at 10am If I need to take a nap and then come back to it. So I. I use that with sobriety too.
Carrie Nicole May [00:08:29]:
Just lots of, like, having rest.
Libby Sundgren [00:08:31]:
I love that. That’s such a good tip.
Elise [00:08:33]:
And I just want to go on the record that, like, napping is where it’s at. Lydia knows I love to nap. I love to nap.
Libby Sundgren [00:08:41]:
You love to nap.
Elise [00:08:42]:
I don’t nap every day, but I nap at least three to five times a week. Same you guys. Like, I nap. I love a nap.
Libby Sundgren [00:08:49]:
Bless you guys. I cannot nap for the life of me, but I kind of wish I could. I just, you know, got that motor going. Can’t rest.
Carrie Nicole May [00:09:02]:
And I wasn’t always like this, I think. But in sobriety, I have been. It’s a. It’s a tool that’s. I don’t know.
Elise [00:09:08]:
Yeah.
Carrie Nicole May [00:09:09]:
Tool. I learned early on.
Libby Sundgren [00:09:10]:
It’s something I need to learn. So thank you. Also, I do want to say I did just refer to your profession as a nurse. I do know you are a nurse practitioner. So let it be stated for the record, Carrie Mae is a nurse practitioner. I do know enough about her to know that I just left off the last word.
Elise [00:09:34]:
I would love to go back before we go forward and talk about how you got started with Chicago AF and particularly around your first no Booze cruise and how that laid the foundation for. For Chicago AF’s momentum. So could we start. Could we start there and learn a little bit more about that?
Carrie Nicole May [00:09:52]:
Sure, yeah. Thanks for asking. So the no Boost cruise that I did, I got this idea from online. And I was never online before I started with Chicago AF and Brave. I was truly, truly like, nothing. No social media. And so it was fun for me when I got. When I started spreading my wings in sobriety and wanted to do more, kind of watching what other people were doing.
Carrie Nicole May [00:10:14]:
And so I saw that someone had done a no booze cruise in England. And so up until that Point we didn’t. I couldn’t really get a whole lot of momentum around the events I was doing and I, I stole this idea or borrowed this idea from somebody else that had done it.
Libby Sundgren [00:10:32]:
We don’t call it stealing, Carrie. It’s called copying from the smartest kid in class. There we go. It’s not stealing.
Carrie Nicole May [00:10:40]:
That’s true. So I just said to my husband, I was like, do you care if I charter a boat? I’m thinking about chartering a boat and seeing if some people want to go on a no booze cruise. They may or may not come, I’m not sure. And so he said, let’s do it. And he.
Elise [00:10:55]:
And is your husband also sober? I can’t remember.
Carrie Nicole May [00:10:58]:
So he stopped drinking when I stopped drinking to support me just as a supporter. Yep.
Elise [00:11:03]:
We love our sober allies.
Carrie Nicole May [00:11:05]:
Seriously.
Elise [00:11:05]:
He’s my sober ally and we love our sober allies.
Carrie Nicole May [00:11:09]:
So that has been amazing. And so that was for us, that was super cool because I think that was also when like the non alcoholic drink momentum was like booming too. So we had a lot of like the Instagrammers like you know, kind of running with that. And so that was great because the no boost cruise is what put. I feel because Chicago AF was going for a while it. I probably was officially doing it. And when I started it, I started it in October of 2020. And I have seriously led an event each month ever since we started it.
Carrie Nicole May [00:11:42]:
And so at that point it had been running for almost a year. And you know, by. And then that really put us on the map. And so I was just really. And it sold out and it was great. And then it kind of caught the attention from somebody in New York that said, hey, would you like to meet with me? I want to. What are you doing? Like, what is going on here? And so I said, yes, I want to meet. You know, of course I want to.
Carrie Nicole May [00:12:04]:
I’ll tell you what’s going on. Like, I’m trying to create some things to do without drinking and have fun and have like the most fun ever. So I was, I don’t know, I still like am. Was so grateful that that happened and, and that people started recognizing that, hey, there’s a group of people. And what are these people doing? Like, and, and it’s still. I, I still feel like that is like kind of, kind of how we, how we got.
Elise [00:12:28]:
Got our momentum and how are they having fun without the booze, right?
Carrie Nicole May [00:12:32]:
Exactly.
Elise [00:12:33]:
Turns out you can have fun without the booze.
Carrie Nicole May [00:12:36]:
Turns out totally.
Elise [00:12:37]:
Which Libby has known Libby and I have done events together for decades. Right. And it was always a point of contention with me that at other events, not the ones we would do because Libby was always really thoughtful about the. Her, her menu planning. But so many events don’t even consider the non drinker.
Carrie Nicole May [00:12:56]:
Right.
Elise [00:12:57]:
Other than here’s some water, here’s some coffee, or, you know, drink one of our mixers. I mean, that’s changing now. We’re seeing it change. It’s changed significantly in the last five years. But prior to the pandemic, it was more common than not that the non drinker was just not considered at events.
Carrie Nicole May [00:13:14]:
Absolutely.
Elise [00:13:15]:
And so, and so to go and do an event that’s entirely non drinking is actually a really bold move.
Carrie Nicole May [00:13:22]:
Yep. And it, it was so great too. I mean, we had that. We had a bartender, you know, serving a complete non alcoholic bar, dancing, the music pumping, you know, and I was just looking around and I was like, yep, this is it. This is exactly what I wanted to do. And so it’s been really cool to see like what has followed like from that and just being able to then get some more people to buy into the fact. And, you know, and there was a girl that went on that no booze cruise that’s still sober today from the, you know, from attending that event. Like, she just went with a friend and then was just in.
Carrie Nicole May [00:13:59]:
Truly gave it up. Yeah.
Libby Sundgren [00:14:01]:
That’s so cool.
Elise [00:14:02]:
That’s really cool. I did not know that story. That’s very cool. Yeah, that’s very cool. Okay, Carrie, so that’s. You talked about that event. So, you know, every event has a start, middle and end. And so what do you do in the middle? Like, how do you keep the energy going? I mean, you said you on that particular one, you had dancing and the mocktail bar.
Elise [00:14:26]:
But like, how do you keep an energy, the energy buzzing at events, pun intended. Because I know they’re sober. There’s actually no buzz.
Libby Sundgren [00:14:33]:
Like, thank you.
Carrie Nicole May [00:14:37]:
I’ve got mom jokes.
Elise [00:14:38]:
I’ve got mom jokes for days.
Carrie Nicole May [00:14:40]:
I try to be really mindful of the fact that there is no drinking at the events. And to have things that people can do with their hands and things that people can do. Because it’s really interesting getting a group of adults that don’t know each other, but they want to know each other, but they don’t really know how to do it in a room.
Libby Sundgren [00:14:59]:
Yeah. Without alcohol. You know, you take away that, that.
Carrie Nicole May [00:15:03]:
Component and then you don’t wanna be cheesy either because I, you know, for example, like, we just we just had a holiday party, which was I. I rented out, like, it’s a. It’s a really cool coffee bar by day. And then I have rented it a couple times now, so you get the. You can rent the entire space. So again, we have a full non alcoholic bar. And I thought, you know, I wanted, I want to have an icebreaker of some sort. But at the same time, when I’m hosting this, I’m not your recovery coach.
Carrie Nicole May [00:15:33]:
I’m not a sponsor here. I’m not. This is just a party. So I’m trying to think about what is it that I can do to like, facilitate or not this group of people, like, getting together and so, and like conversing with one another, having something to do. And so I did name tags. It’s like, not like the greatest, like, build up to that, but what I thought at the end of it was like, I’m gonna leave it up to the people. Like, I’m really. I’m not gonna intervene on this one.
Carrie Nicole May [00:16:07]:
I’m just gonna see what happens. And looking around the room, everybody was talking. Everybody was like moving around, shifting, talking with like, you know, There was about 50 people there, lots of new people. I had no idea who they were, and it was great. And so I had food. I think food is always a really good thing to do when you’re not. When you’re not drinking as well. And you can always like bond over food.
Carrie Nicole May [00:16:32]:
But yeah, it’s just. And those are, Those are just some of the smaller things. But some of the other events that I’ve done too, it’s. There are specific activities, like doing like a ropes course or like, I’ve done a casino night before and hired like the professional casino people to come. That’s really fun. Like, you know, actually playing games together. We’ve done, what’s it called, Escape Room together. You know, where you’re.
Carrie Nicole May [00:16:57]:
You’re on teams and then you’re placed with people you don’t know. We just. I just did a volunteer event, which I think is like such a good idea for people that are sober or looking to. You know, we just packed like 85 gazillion tons of pasta for the homeless in Chicago. And we had such a good time doing it. Like, again, they’re cranking the music. I don’t, I don’t know the person next to me. And now, now we’re like talking about going to dinner together.
Carrie Nicole May [00:17:24]:
Poss. You know, and like, just. It’s just great. And then just like thinking outside the box too. I try to like really come up with like really unique things that like, are intriguing to me because I want to be entertained as well. It’s like how I can’t go to the same place on retreat. Cause I’ve already been there. Even though I know we could do totally different hikes and do different things, I want to be really excited too.
Carrie Nicole May [00:17:45]:
So I know that when I’m coming into the that event, I’m showing up as my best self too because I’m actually super excited to attend it. That’s the whole reason why I started my nonprofit is because I wanted excitement and fun in my sobriety. Like, I. I really wanted to have things to look forward to.
Libby Sundgren [00:18:02]:
So that’s such a good way to look at that. You know, a lot of people would say, well, we’ll just do the same thing. Like, you know, well, no need to recreate the wheel. We already know the way that it works. But I love that you pick a new place so that you. Even if it means you have to get there two days early or it takes you two days to get there because you don’t have MapQuest anymore or something. But that is such a cool way to look at that.
Carrie Nicole May [00:18:28]:
Yep. And if we are doing an event like with regards to the nonprofit, I have to keep in mind too, it’s going to be all new people as well. So. So that will also be like a different experience, so. Cause the no Boost cruise is really fun to do. We have, we have. We do keep doing that. That’s like our signature thing.
Carrie Nicole May [00:18:45]:
And. And we do it when they’re doing the Chicago Air and Water show. So the jets are going off ahead up above. So it’s. It’s really. It’s a great summer day on the lake.
Elise [00:18:55]:
You’ve also done Oktoberfest at the zoo there in Chicago. Do you want to tell us a little bit about that? Cause that’s had over a thousand people, right?
Carrie Nicole May [00:19:03]:
Yeah. Yeah. So Oktoberfest was great and I was so excited because Lincol Zoo reached out to me. So that’s. I love it when like the community reaches out to me, you know, versus the other way around. And there was a girl, she’s coming up on 10 years and so she reached out to me and Beth Kraus is her name. She’s wonderful. And just said I’m.
Carrie Nicole May [00:19:25]:
And she works for Lincoln Park Zoo and just said I would love to plan a non alcoholic event. Would you be interested in helping me with that? And I said absolutely. And so we started talking in January of the. Of like Two years ago. And then you know, the event wasn’t until September and it was like that much planning and so it was really interesting for me especially because I’ve spent my whole life in a hospital to see how like different, you know, all of this in sobriety and with all these different like coming like being with like different people and different occupations and it’s just been so cool. But yeah, ok, soberfest was great. So we, it was at the zoo, had all non alcoholic vendors, German like fair food. We had like a polka band.
Carrie Nicole May [00:20:10]:
We had another band too. So it was like different. You could go to different aspects of the zoo and it was like a totally different scene. Lawn games and so that’s been amazing and we’re gonna do. We just had, we just did it again. It was so well done.
Libby Sundgren [00:20:24]:
Just.
Carrie Nicole May [00:20:24]:
I love working with Lincoln Park Zoo and we’re gonna do something new for this upcoming year that’s going to be different. And I’m non alcoholic as well. And it’s just amazing to see people that are not necessarily sober that come to these events and how much they love the events and are grateful for them and hoping that there’s more of them. And the people that work like at Lincoln Park Zoo, you know, that are watching an October, like an October fest versus an October fest or what, however you want to call it. And just their perceptions too. It’s. It’s incredible.
Elise [00:20:59]:
It turns out you can do anything sober.
Carrie Nicole May [00:21:02]:
Yes.
Elise [00:21:02]:
You know, as it turns out you can.
Carrie Nicole May [00:21:05]:
Yeah.
Libby Sundgren [00:21:05]:
You know, but I think the events you do, Carrie, are really important not just for the sober community, but for the sober ally community in the sense that, you know, it is such a part of our culture and you know, going out and you go to dinner and drinks and it really is such a good reinforcement for people who do consume alcohol who maybe don’t always want to. I want to go to an event or a party or a dinner and just have Diet Coke. I don’t always want to have a drink with it.
Carrie Nicole May [00:21:41]:
I think it’s just kind of a little bit refreshing and you didn’t know that you needed it to be refreshed.
Libby Sundgren [00:21:49]:
Totally.
Carrie Nicole May [00:21:49]:
It’s kind of like what people say to me. They didn’t really consider not drinking or that it was really an option or a desirable option or anything, you know. And yeah, when I stopped drinking, I. I stopped hanging out with the people that drank. So that kind of meant everybody. And so I had to build that from like the ground up because I didn’t want to hang out with it. I didn’t want to do that. And so.
Carrie Nicole May [00:22:17]:
And so with the events, like, for the nonprofit, too, you know, we do also do things like going to the Cubs game, and, like, so we go to Wrigleyville together and go sober, like, go to the event, sit in a block, and we’re not going to drink alcohol, and we’re going to, you know, we’re going to have fun, we’re going to cheer, and, like, we’re going to do these things. And so I also feel like a lot of what I do is helping people practice, and I’m practicing myself. You know, I’m. I have anxiety at baseline, so I’m practicing with my own anxiety, and I’m helping you. And it’s okay if. If you, like, don’t, you know, you feel nervous, you feel silly or you feel whatever, it doesn’t matter. There’s. There’s a thing called Ravinia here in Chicago, which is like this beautiful, like, outdoor lawn where everybody comes and typically, it’s a huge drinking fest.
Carrie Nicole May [00:23:02]:
Every. You know, people drink. You can bring as much alcohol as you want to, and you sit around and you listen to the thing. And, like, that was one of the first things we did, too, was let’s go to Ravinia and not drink. So we’re gonna set up our own little outdoor little camp with the little tables and, like, and then we’re gonna not drink. So, yeah, it’s just kind of like just creating space.
Libby Sundgren [00:23:23]:
Totally. And taking away that, like, it doesn’t have to feel taboo to not drink. You know, like, as a female, if I’m not drinking alcohol for years, people would say, are you pregnant or are you sick? Or, you know, those are kind of the two only options that there could be. Like, those only explanat. And I just think these kinds of events are so important to show people that, you know, you don’t have to feel weird about it. Or if you do feel weird, like, it’s okay. Other people feel weird. And, like, the more you do it, the less weird you feel.
Libby Sundgren [00:23:58]:
And it just. It feels really freeing to not have that pressure on yourself, I guess, to be like, oh, I have to get a glass of wine with dinner because I don’t want to.
Carrie Nicole May [00:24:08]:
Like, yes.
Libby Sundgren [00:24:10]:
You know, people think I’m having another baby.
Elise [00:24:12]:
Yeah. So funny to me, because nobody would be like, oh, you’re gluten free. Why are you gluten free? Oh, you’re lactose intolerant. You can’t just have a little milk because this is a special whatever. Like, that only comes up with alcohol. But I think for the event planners or anybody in the event industry that’s listening to this episode, which I’m sure is all of them, because we’re wildly popular, it is like, you do need to think about all of your guest experiences. And even if there is alcohol at an event, which is totally fine, I’m not anti alcohol, you’re not anti alcohol. But make sure that there is something for everyone.
Elise [00:24:47]:
And then, yes, it’s absolutely okay to have events that are alcohol free. And it doesn’t have to be because you’re a sober person.
Carrie Nicole May [00:24:55]:
Right.
Elise [00:24:55]:
It’s just because that event you want to be. You want people to truly be in the moment and it. And you don’t really, you know, people think they need that first drink to, like, get over that social anxiety. But really, if you put a group together within the first hour, alcohol or no alcohol, if they’re forced to talk to each other, the ice will break naturally. It will melt naturally. You don’t actually need anything. You just think that you need something.
Carrie Nicole May [00:25:19]:
Yeah.
Elise [00:25:20]:
So whether you’re throwing an event for seven people or 7,000 people, like, it’s just making sure to be inclusive with the experience from start to finish, I think.
Carrie Nicole May [00:25:29]:
Absolutely.
Libby Sundgren [00:25:30]:
Carrie, how do you close out events so that people leave with that just natural buzz that they get at your events? And how do you. What do you do to help them remember that afterwards and to kind of keep it going and to hook them for the next one?
Carrie Nicole May [00:25:48]:
Yeah, that’s a great question. So I always, I stay till the end of the event. I don’t dip out early. I. I’ve heard of, like, some people that are, like, not really there for their events. Like, if I’m planning something, I’ll be there from way before it starts until it ends. And I think that’s really important. I think that’s really important for the people to see you.
Carrie Nicole May [00:26:07]:
And I’m like, when I’m at an event, you can always talk with. Talk to me. I am love talking and, like, and hanging out and being. Being part of the event. I’m not just planning the event. I want to take part in the event. So I’m always, like, a really very active participant. And then I also follow up with people, like, afterwards, you know, with gratitude.
Carrie Nicole May [00:26:30]:
You know, how can we, like, collaborate in the future? If there’s some way that I can, like, tag them back or, you know, show appreciation. I just, I make a point to, like, personally sit down and say thank you. So I think I feel like that’s really important.
Libby Sundgren [00:26:45]:
I love that. That’s a great touch point after an event.
Elise [00:26:49]:
What do you think, Carrie, that you’ve learned? What’s your very best event skill? That if you were going to tell someone who’s new to the industry that, that this one skill will be the one that will get you through all those, those hard days or hard periods of event planning time.
Carrie Nicole May [00:27:09]:
I would say to trust your gut, even if you’re early, like very early, your gut is usually right. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not right. If you are like working with people that you’re sensing a little bit of like whatever it is you’re feeling, it’s. You’re probably right on and it’s probably not a good fit for you. I’ve pulled out of some certain events before they got too far along and just been, you know, just really upfront that perhaps like, you know, this is just not like the event for us to work together on or like, if it’s like something I’m collaborating on, like with regards to my non profit, I just really want to make sure that it’s in a space of like, we’re doing this for the community. We’re doing this for the greater good. We’re doing this for like there are reasons for the appli. For the, for whatever it is we’re doing are in alignment.
Carrie Nicole May [00:28:01]:
And if they’re not, for me, it’s not worth. I don’t want to be personally want to be involved in it. Another piece of advice I would say is to be as absolutely as organized as possible. Figure out what your organizational system is. If you’re having a hard time with that, you need to stop what you’re doing and reevaluate that until you can figure out how, how to do that. Because that’s the last thing that you want. Once things get into motion, you don’t want to be trying to find details. Like you want to be able to pull up things.
Carrie Nicole May [00:28:34]:
Like, you know, for me it was like switching over, like using Google more. I had never really used Google, to be honest. Like before I really got into like the thick of things and like using the drive or however it is you’re going to access your things and, and stay on top of everything.
Elise [00:28:50]:
Do you use a clipboard, Carrie?
Carrie Nicole May [00:28:52]:
No. Should I?
Elise [00:28:55]:
Well, Libby is very pro clipboard.
Libby Sundgren [00:28:57]:
Yep.
Carrie Nicole May [00:28:58]:
You have to take.
Libby Sundgren [00:28:59]:
I love a good clipboard. I like the ones that have a, you know, you can open it and then you can put stuff inside so they’re not super Thin. They’re like a, they’re like an inch thick, but it’s like a big clipboard. You can put stuff inside and clip it on front because, you know, then you can put your floor plans, your timelines. I am obviously a digital person, but I love having a printed sheet in front of me.
Carrie Nicole May [00:29:25]:
So yes, I love that. Yeah. There’s a particular like folder that I use for retreats that is kind of similar where that is my folder.
Libby Sundgren [00:29:36]:
That’s where all of, all of the magic lies.
Carrie Nicole May [00:29:40]:
Yep.
Elise [00:29:41]:
Carrie, I’m curious because Chicago AF is a nonprofit and the people that you do have that join you are volunteering their time. Sometimes, you know, volunteers have the best intentions, but they may not have event hosting skills. How do you corral those cats? Like, how do you keep the people working the events, whether they’re paid or volunteer? How do you keep them engaged and motivated? You’re a coach, so I would think that being a recovery coach and a nurse, this comes naturally to you.
Carrie Nicole May [00:30:12]:
But.
Elise [00:30:12]:
But what can we learn from what you do?
Carrie Nicole May [00:30:14]:
Yeah, that’s a really great question too. So that has been. That’s hard. So one of the things with that, I will be honest, it’s finding out what people’s motivation is for the event. I’ve had, I’ve just had to like be really clear that do you want to motivate, do you want to do this with a nonprofit because you want to volunteer with a nonprof or are you. I’m trying because I’m probably not answering your question, but this is something while we’re talking about events, that has really been something I’ve run into is that people have their own agenda for wanting to cross promote and wanting to like do something for like a different reason that you’re really not sure of at the beginning. And so that has been really difficult to just try to just keep, keep the focus narrow and straight on the task at hand. Of like, this is just to promote connection and fostering, you know, creativity, connection in alcohol free, sober spaces.
Carrie Nicole May [00:31:16]:
And just I’ve also had to put the ownership on those people for the event. So if they want to plan something, I meet with them one on one. It’s if because I’m in Chicago, it’s like it’s typically over zoom to before the event to like discuss like that you’re going to be responsible for this X, Y and Z. And are you sure that you want this? And then, then just kind of like little baby steps. I don’t know if I’m answering it correctly. But it’s, it’s, it’s been very hard. And this year has been a wonderful year of growth with regards to people really wanting to volunteer for the organization and really following through with hosting monthly things for us, which has been like really low key, awesome events for people to drop into that are just great ways to meet people. But coming up until this year, it’s been very hard to find people to help.
Libby Sundgren [00:32:09]:
Honestly, Carrie, that is such a brave thing to ask somebody because as somebody who I plan many events where we are kind of starved for volunteers and we would take anyone for any reason. We didn’t want to turn anyone away. So I think that’s a really brave thing to, to ask people that and to really vet your volunteers based on that. That’s a smart move.
Carrie Nicole May [00:32:34]:
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
Elise [00:32:38]:
Turns out less is more.
Carrie Nicole May [00:32:40]:
Turns out, seriously. I have learned quality over quantity.
Elise [00:32:45]:
Huh. Well, and, you know, people don’t always know what they’re getting into. I’ve learned this a lot around Totally content creation with the sober curator. People are like, ah, I want to be a blogger. I want to write content. And they really mean it. I know they mean it. And then they get in there and they’re like, oh, wow, this is actually a lot of work and a lot of research and a lot of time.
Elise [00:33:04]:
I didn’t realize what I was signing up for. And that can be the same without events. Also, some people have those like, instantaneous boots on the ground problem solving skills. And other people, they will be great if they are told what to do, but they can’t necessarily problem solve on their own. And both kinds of people are great. But it’s about having the right people in the right roles.
Carrie Nicole May [00:33:29]:
Absolutely. Yes.
Elise [00:33:31]:
And I have learned that the hard way. And Dan Rogers, who’s the owner and founder of Work P2P, he’s like, Elise, you know when somebody isn’t in the right seat and that’s not a strength for them, like, stop trying to force that on them. Move them. Move them to where their strength is. Right?
Carrie Nicole May [00:33:47]:
Yes.
Elise [00:33:47]:
Stop forcing something on them that is they’re only going to ever be. That’s so wise and simple, actually. But it’s not, it’s not always easy to do.
Carrie Nicole May [00:33:57]:
I totally agree.
Elise [00:33:58]:
Yeah, Carrie, we like to do a segment called It Ain’t Bragging if It’s True. So you’ve talked about the no Booze cruise. You’re obviously very proud of that. Do you have any other key milestones in your career showcasing events that you really want to brag to us about right now. I love. I love to listen to women brag, particularly because we don’t do it enough.
Carrie Nicole May [00:34:18]:
I’m honestly just really grateful that the Chicago AF is still plugging along over four years later. And it’s bigger than, like, again, like, sobriety, bigger than I ever thought was possible. Like what? Like, bigger than my wildest dream, you know, that people are excited about it. And I’ll hear people, you know, like, somebody that I just met was, that came to this volunteer event, and I was like, oh, how’d you find out about Chicago af? And she’s like, I heard you on an interview, and then I saw you on the news, and I thought, oh, oh, like, okay, that’s, like, super sweet. But, you know, but I was like, I. You know, you sometimes, like, you lose sight of, like, the impact that you’re having a little bit. And so I think, like, what we’re doing with this nonprofit is so important because I was so afraid when I got sober that I was going to have this dull life, because that’s what I saw when I came in. That’s all that really was available to me, because I couldn’t meet any.
Carrie Nicole May [00:35:20]:
I went through the steps that were, like, that were available to me, and I did the things that I could do for myself. And then I was like, I really need some more. There has to be more. And so I’m really grateful to have that more. And I’m like, that’s, like, going to make me tear up. But I’m just like, I’m just really grateful for it, and I’m grateful for the community, and I’m grateful for the help, and I’m. I’m really grateful that I met this person, Mary Tilson, that I’m doing retreats with. And, like, that’s like a whole separate thing, too, but to get women out of their comfort zone and, like, get them on retreat.
Carrie Nicole May [00:36:00]:
And these women that come on these retreats, like, some of them I’ve only met on retreat. I mean, I don’t know these people. They don’t know me. And, you know, at the beginning, the first couple retreats, they knew me through Chicago af. Now, now they don’t know me. And so they’re coming and they’re saying, I don’t know you, but I’m going to spend X amount of money and I’m going to leave my family behind, and I’m going to come for three days to a place where I don’t know anybody, share bedrooms with people. And after that, you know, my goal Is that like you’ll come home and you’ll be more confident in your sobriety and own your sobriety. Because it took me a long time to do that with mine.
Carrie Nicole May [00:36:34]:
And it. And it’s doing it. And so it’s just like, I’m just really grateful for it. But anyway, sorry. So good.
Elise [00:36:42]:
Well, it’s so good. And of course I’m tearing up right alongside you here. I mean, what you’re talking about here is why events exist. It’s connection. It’s human connection. It’s heart centered, led conversations over anything. Right? Over anything. Whether you’re in the woods on a hike or you’re on a no booze cruise with jets flowing overhand.
Elise [00:37:05]:
It’s being connected to each other is all we really want, you know, in authentic and to feel a part of and to feel included. And I love meeting new people. I also love hanging with the people that I already know are my tried and true. And at events you get to, you get to be yourself, but you also get to try on different personalities and experience, expose yourself to different personalities and learn so many new things if you show up to them with an open hand and a curious heart. I’m curious to both of you. You have a fanny pack, you’re doing your events. What are the key items in your fanny pack? This is to both Libby and Carrie, but Carrie, we’ll start with you.
Carrie Nicole May [00:37:50]:
So I will have some lip gloss in my fanny pack.
Elise [00:37:54]:
Yeah, girl.
Carrie Nicole May [00:37:55]:
I’ll probably have my phone in my, in my fanny pack. I, I used to have a piece of bread, like at my wedding. I like, didn’t really eat. And I literally like, you know, the, your cute little wedding purse. I literally stole the bun from my wedding plate and like put it in.
Libby Sundgren [00:38:13]:
Shoved it in there. Gotta eat something.
Carrie Nicole May [00:38:16]:
So I tend to events, I tend to like because I’m a little anxious. Like I don’t eat as much. I eat more now than I used to. But I used to like save food for later. You go, Libby.
Elise [00:38:29]:
I’ve done that.
Libby Sundgren [00:38:30]:
I do that usually too.
Elise [00:38:31]:
Actually.
Libby Sundgren [00:38:31]:
We record an episode and I talked about how I just kind of get this adrenaline rush and kind of forget me too during the event. And then I get home and I’m so tired and starving and I have an event hangover the next day because I didn’t properly fuel.
Carrie Nicole May [00:38:46]:
Yes, yes.
Libby Sundgren [00:38:47]:
My Sammy pack has my phone. I also put one of those mobile like fast chargers for my phone in there because it will usually die. I definitely have some kind of chapstick. Usually it’s this cocoa butter kind. It has a brown lid. I don’t have it next to me, but it’s kind of my go to gum or candy.
Carrie Nicole May [00:39:11]:
Yeah.
Libby Sundgren [00:39:11]:
I always have some kind of a treat in there, even though I don’t usually end up eating it. I also, if we’re talking clipboards, I also have copies of everything in my clipboard and pens and rubber bands and a couple safety pins.
Carrie Nicole May [00:39:30]:
Okay.
Libby Sundgren [00:39:31]:
And even like a copy, a full copy of the guest list because, you know, sometimes you just need a printed guest list, even if it’s, you know, 700 people. What do you put in yours, Elise?
Elise [00:39:43]:
Well, usually at events. A lot of times at events, I’m like the emcee or I’m getting up and introducing someone that’s going to be talking. So I have note cards that are usually printed or handwritten by Libby, reminding me how to phonetically pronounce things and to make sure I thank all the sponsors and whatnot. So I have note cards. I have my phone. I usually have. I usually do have also another backup charger. I may have business cards if I’m on my game.
Elise [00:40:16]:
Although these days I know there’s all kinds of things you can do with your phone and, you know, special QR codes and stuff to make that easier. But I still, I’m a prank girl. I love a printed book, a printed magazine. Yeah, I love a printed business card. I’m not going to lie. So I probably still have that. I definitely. I don’t plan a far enough advance to think about snacks, so I’m usually dipping into Libby snacks, usually.
Elise [00:40:39]:
I definitely have a lip gloss. Without a doubt, I have a lip gloss. I probably also have a telly tie, which is. It’s kind of like the modern day scrunchie. What I love about a telly tie is that. And this episode is not brought to you by Telly Ties, although it could be in the future. Telly ties are great because they look like the old school rotary phone cords. So they give me that.
Elise [00:41:05]:
That popo nostalgia. They come in lots of different colors and you, you know, it’s great for throwing your hair up in a bun. They do get stretched out. But what I love about them is when you put them in hot water, they kind of shrink back to their original shape. And I feel like that’s very metaphoric with events. Right? Events are gonna stretch you out.
Carrie Nicole May [00:41:26]:
Yeah.
Elise [00:41:26]:
And it’s that getting back in the hot water, which is usually dead center right before an event or in the middle of the event. It’s Gon bring you back and it’s actually good for you. It’s like those, you know, people sometimes think that stress is a bad thing. Not all stress is a bad thing. There’s a lot of good stress that happens that makes you even better at your, at your A game. Or in this case, I would say E game with events. And so I would definitely have sorry mom jokes for days, but I would definitely have my teletie. I would have at least one.
Libby Sundgren [00:41:57]:
I mean, I just want to say for people who might not know Elise, this sounds like we scripted this part of the conversation because she just flew in with this analogy. But I, but as somebody who knows her very well, she did not script that. So the, the quick thinking and the cheese is just authentic.
Elise [00:42:26]:
It’s just an authentic, it’s an authentic gift. Well, Carrie, as we close out here, before you tell our listeners where they can find you, what events do you have lined up for 2025?
Carrie Nicole May [00:42:38]:
So we just got done with our NA Day. It was awesome. We just had 400 guests come to this really cool venue in Chicago called Loft on lake. We had 20 non alcoholic vendors. Just a really cool way to kick off dry January. And it was really, really fun. So as far as the nonprofit, we’re definitely doing the no booze cruise again like that we talked about. We have something coming up with Lincoln Park Zoo.
Carrie Nicole May [00:43:03]:
And then I’m getting ready to go to Nepal for the Everest Base Camp trek with my friend Mary Tilson. My husband is coming, my son is coming.
Libby Sundgren [00:43:13]:
Just a little, just a little jaunt up to Everest Base Camp. You know, a stroll.
Carrie Nicole May [00:43:19]:
Yep. It’s been very fun trying the gear for that. So that’s so awesome. And then I just, we just launched our second retreat for 2025, which is going to be in Moab, Utah. And that’s for women that are sober or sober curious. So we’re really pumped about that. We’re actually going glamping. I’ve never glamped before, so we’re now.
Elise [00:43:39]:
That sounds like something I could get down with.
Carrie Nicole May [00:43:42]:
Right?
Libby Sundgren [00:43:42]:
I like this. Yeah.
Carrie Nicole May [00:43:44]:
So that’s what’s on tap for right now. And then I’m just going to kind of see again, like what happens. It’s, it’s really fun to see who wants to collaborate. I, I enjoy that as much as, I don’t know, all of it.
Elise [00:43:56]:
That’s fun. Love that.
Carrie Nicole May [00:43:58]:
So if anyone is interested in any of those things, they can find me@ChicagoAF community.com also braverecoverycoaching.com. and I have Instagram handles for both, so.
Elise [00:44:12]:
And do you, Carrie, have any advice to someone who’s been wanting to start their own kind of event series in their metro area, but maybe it’s been too intimidating or they didn’t think they were. They had the bandwidth or just they. They. But it kept being, like, coming up for them. What words of advice would you give to that person?
Carrie Nicole May [00:44:33]:
I would tell them to do it, and I would tell them to, like, understand that it’s going to take a lot of time. Like, it. You know, when I first started this, I mean, I would think people would rscp that they were coming and it would be me and one other woman. And then you’re kind of, like, on, like, a blind date that you didn’t know you were about to have or nobody came and. But to keep doing it, because then people, if you’re consistent and if you can find a way to get the word out that you’re doing this, people are definitely interested in it. And so to just start small and then just see where it takes, you know? And I spent a lot of time, like, really the first, like, three years that I was doing this, like, using my creative, like, what can I do? What can I plan? And then, like, last year, I just decided I’m just gonna see what happens. You know, I’m just gonna, like, truly, I’m just gonna see what happens. And a lot happened, so.
Carrie Nicole May [00:45:32]:
So, yeah, I would. I would go for it, no matter where you are. I talked to so many people that are in different parts of the, you know, of the US or internationally, too, that wish that they had some sort of, like, sober community. And if you don’t have one, start one.
Elise [00:45:45]:
Love that.
Carrie Nicole May [00:45:46]:
Awesome.
Libby Sundgren [00:45:47]:
Thank you, Carrie.
Carrie Nicole May [00:45:48]:
Yeah, thanks for having me. Ladies, it’s so good to see you.
Elise [00:45:51]:
You’ll have to come back and check in with us later and let us know how all of your party plans for 2025 ended up.
Carrie Nicole May [00:45:58]:
Okay, I will. Thank you.
Elise [00:45:59]:
Thanks for listening and we’ll see you next time on Beats Working, Winning the Game of Events. Thanks for listening to Beats Working Winning the Game of Events, where we explore what it takes to make moments unforgettable.
Libby Sundgren [00:46:11]:
If you’re leaving with a little more inspiration, a little more perspective, and a big sideache from all of the laughing at our funny jokes, then we’ve done our job.
Elise [00:46:21]:
Beats Working is a work P2P production. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review us on your favorite podcast platforms.
Libby Sundgren [00:46:31]:
Your support helps us. Keep the magic going.
