Join us at The Fun Table in this lively episode of BEATS WORKING – Winning the Game of Events! Hosts Alysse Bryson and Libby Sundgren sit down with Kristin Graham, Dele Downs Kooley, and Amy Liz Harrison for some good laughs and event-planning wisdom. They dive into Priya Parker’s “The Art of Gathering,” sharing insights on throwing successful parties and making meaningful connections. With personal stories, fabulous tips, and a dash of humor, this episode is a must-listen for anyone planning an event, big or small.
Resources Mentioned:
- Book: “The Art of Gathering”
- Learning & Games: Goosechase and Kahoot!
- Meet The Fun Table: Kristin Graham, Dele Downs Kooley, Amy Liz Harrison
- Alysse & Libby: Bios & LinkedIn
Connect with Us:
- Website: www.beatsworkingpodcast.com
- LinkedIn: @BEATS WORKING Show
- Instagram: @beatsworkingshow
- Facebook: @Beats Working Show
- YouTube: @BEATSWORKINGPODCAST
Support the Show:
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BEATS WORKING is a platform on a mission to redeem work—the word, the place, and the way. We believe that work is the most honorable act in the universe, and through inspiring stories and practical insights, we want to transform the way people think about work and help them discover greater fulfillment in their lives. We invite you to join us as we build community through sharing and actively demonstrating what we learn.
If you have a show idea, feedback, or just want to connect, email producer Tamar Medford at tamar@workp2p.com.
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Transcript
The following transcript is not certified. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. The information contained within this document is for general information purposes only.
Alysse Bryson [00:00:00]:
I was once at the Kate Spade outlet outside of Palm Springs, and I bought this big, beautiful bag. I was very excited. I thought, oh, this is going to be a really cool carry on. And when I got up to the counter, the woman was like, oh, when are you expecting. I was buying a diaper. I was buying a diaper bag. Yeah, I bought it anyway. But they have a purpose.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:00:21]:
You are ahead of your time, girlfriend. Because nowadays we just buy big bags and throw our baby stuff in.
Alysse Bryson [00:00:27]:
I like.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:00:29]:
I like being in bags and I cannot laugh.
Alysse Bryson [00:00:33]:
Welcome to Beats Winning the Game of Events, where we share stories and strategies to turn any event or life moment into something unforgettable.
Libby Sundgren [00:00:43]:
Events are wild, and the people who work in them are some of the most resilient humans on earth. If you know, you know.
Alysse Bryson [00:00:51]:
So come with us behind the curtain for a look at their most memorable experiences.
Libby Sundgren [00:00:56]:
As they say, the show must go on, on. So let’s get on with the show.
Alysse Bryson [00:01:07]:
So let’s start like Carrie Ann taught us. Everybody have your feet on the floor. Let’s just get. Let’s just get grounded. Want a couple of deep. Couple of deep breaths. Libby, you can give us a sound bath. Crinkle, crinkle a candy package for us, will you?
Dele Downs Kooley [00:01:28]:
I think the outtakes are going to be way more interesting.
Alysse Bryson [00:01:31]:
Yeah, the outtakes. For days. We should really just make a podcast on outtakes. I like how Kristen has got her eyes closed holding her unicorn. Not that I’m peeking.
Kristin Graham [00:01:49]:
Red leather.
Alysse Bryson [00:01:50]:
They’re wearing coats.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:01:53]:
Burnt toast.
Alysse Bryson [00:01:55]:
Okay. Okay, Libby. I am so excited to start this new segment at Beats Working Events that we’re going to be doing once a month.
Libby Sundgren [00:02:06]:
Same.
Alysse Bryson [00:02:08]:
We were calling it the Fun Table.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:02:10]:
The Fun Table.
Alysse Bryson [00:02:12]:
The Fun Table. Because everybody knows when you go to an event, I don’t care if it’s a wedding, if it’s a conference, a retreat, a gala. You always know when you’re at the fun table and you always know when you’re not at the fun table, Right?
Dele Downs Kooley [00:02:32]:
Hashtag truth.
Alysse Bryson [00:02:33]:
So. Hashtag truth. And so what I thought about how we would create our own fun table and who would I want at the fun table? It was a no brainer for me. It was a no brainer on who I wanted to invite to be contributors to Beats Working events. For those of you that were season one listeners to Beats Working Winning the Game of Work, we had a handful of contributors that would come and weigh in on the topics that we discussed every week, once a month. And they were mostly entrepreneurs and they would bring so much Wisdom. And we captured hundreds of episodes of so much Wisdom of winning the game of work. But here at season two, we are winning the game of events.
Alysse Bryson [00:03:18]:
And so that means we have to have a fun table, don’t you think?
Dele Downs Kooley [00:03:24]:
Yes.
Libby Sundgren [00:03:26]:
Also, you know, shout out to the people who sit at the not fun tables. You are important, too. You are doing your duty at an event, and you’re taking one for the team. Yeah, but we like the fun table. Yeah.
Alysse Bryson [00:03:36]:
And those of you stuck at the children’s table, karma, you probably did something to deserve that. I’m just saying, you probably. You probably deserve that.
Libby Sundgren [00:03:46]:
Or you’re a child, you know, or your child.
Kristin Graham [00:03:49]:
Or.
Alysse Bryson [00:03:49]:
Or your child is at the table, and you’re. You’re there to keep your child in order. Okay, well, let’s talk about who’s at our table today. I am so excited to introduce this group of ladies because I have been rolling with this crew for well over a decade. I mean, these are my ride or Diesel. If I’m going to an event, usually one of them is by my side. If I’m throwing an event, usually they’re in attendance. And so.
Alysse Bryson [00:04:17]:
Or they’re the first person I call after I went to an event, and I want to call and gossip about everything that happened, including what went wrong. Right. And so. Well, Libby, we should start with you because you’re my og Ride or die. You’re the one I do all the events with, and our audience knows you. But let’s. Let’s just kick it over to you for just a minute.
Libby Sundgren [00:04:41]:
Well, I accidentally got into events at my first real big job out of college. Elise was my boss when I stepped into this event role, and she actually championed me because my other boss. My boss at the time was like, I don’t really think Libby’s creative enough to, like, do events. I just don’t really think that, you know, she’s.
Kristin Graham [00:05:06]:
That.
Libby Sundgren [00:05:06]:
That’s really, like, her thing. And Elise told me about it in a really nice way, but she was like, I’m telling you this because you can do this. You can really do this. And, you know, I’m a pretty. Like, I love rules and organization and stuff, so I kind of thought maybe I couldn’t do it, but she was my champion, so. Thanks, ab.
Alysse Bryson [00:05:26]:
Now, that was after we had to work through the fact that I terrified you when you first met me. You were very scary.
Libby Sundgren [00:05:32]:
You were very scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alysse Bryson [00:05:34]:
For the first couple months. Yeah. I tend to have that effect on people. They either love me or they’re terrified of me, which is fine. Like, it’s fine because here.
Libby Sundgren [00:05:44]:
But since then, we’ve done all kinds of events. We’ve done tiny dinners. We’ve done 2, 000 person launch parties. It’s been a wild ride. And. Yeah. Oh, and we’ve done, like, personal events, you know, family events.
Alysse Bryson [00:05:59]:
We’ve done all kinds.
Libby Sundgren [00:06:00]:
All the things.
Alysse Bryson [00:06:01]:
All kinds of events.
Libby Sundgren [00:06:02]:
So.
Alysse Bryson [00:06:03]:
All right. Kristin Graham is here. And I have been sidekicking with Kristin Graham for almost as long as I’ve been sidekicking with Libby. Not quite, but she’s probably second in line of the length of time here. And, Kristin, let’s hear a little bit about you.
Kristin Graham [00:06:20]:
I also have to add that Elise usually dresses me when I go to events. That’s a gift with purchase because my style can’t be trusted that way, but Elise’s can, so. Hi, friends. I’m Kristen. And part of the reason why I am nerding up here is because, like Elise and Libby, I spent many, many years and decades working in corporate environments and overseeing events and having everything go wrong behind the scenes that nobody knows. And sometimes they do. So from tiny boardrooms to big ballrooms and around the world and figuring out tech and speakers, all of it on a personal level. I’ve been doing a podcast myself for almost three years, and I’ve learned the hard way that way.
Kristin Graham [00:07:04]:
I am a speaker, a facilitator, but more importantly, I’m a mom. So every day is kind of facilitating herding those cats, getting memories sometimes. And with each of you, I have been such a beneficiary of learning from all of you about how it’s done and how it’s done well. So I feel like I’m just a studio audience.
Alysse Bryson [00:07:28]:
I love that you’re here. I love that you’re here. And shortly after, Kristen came into my life and I attached myself to her side, I got to meet our next guest, Deli, because she lived across the street from Kristen, and so she was like, just there all the time. Deli, welcome.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:07:47]:
Thank you. And I also had the pleasure. I will say, you two were at the fun table. There are still hashtags for my wedding because Kristen and Elise were at my wedding and they were definitely bringing the energy. I think most of our tables were the fun table, if we’re being honest.
Kristin Graham [00:08:05]:
True.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:08:06]:
Your table was a fun wedding. It was a fun hashtag. So, yes, all those things. But I’m Deli Downs Cooley, and I guide high performers in owning their voice, sharing their stories, and building powerful personal brands. They that inspire Change and foster meaningful connections. And as a coach and public speaker, I’m dedicated to empowering individuals to express their true selves confidently, to make a lasting impact in both their personal and professional lives. That’s what I do. But before I had the honor and privilege of doing that work, I spent a lot of times behind the scenes putting on events myself.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:08:45]:
And like Kristen, I am a mom. So every day is an event. Especially when you are a girl mom, every day is an event. That is also where I developed my mad project management skills. For all of the event happening is, you know, you gotta plan life. So inside work, outside work, I’ve gotten to do behind the scenes, front of stage. And that’s what inspired me to get to this point.
Alysse Bryson [00:09:12]:
Point.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:09:13]:
So I’m excited to be here with you amazing ladies because this is definitely the fun table.
Alysse Bryson [00:09:19]:
Plus, I just want to throw in that if you attend an event that deli has her fingerprint on, you will walk away with something monogrammed. Walk away with something monogrammed or your custom name on something. It will be personalized and it will be personalized and you will feel special and you will keep it forever.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:09:41]:
Yes, the deli is in the details.
Alysse Bryson [00:09:45]:
Kristin, I think you want to jump in really quick.
Kristin Graham [00:09:48]:
I did. Thank you. Because one of the things I wanted to reflect on is that when you walk into deli’s house, her table is always set. And not just set themed. And by the season, I have never, like, in case we have a pop up Mad Hatterty, she is writing my walls.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:10:07]:
It’s Valentine’s day right now. St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, whatever it is, we’re ready. We are ready for an event.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:10:15]:
Always ready. Love it.
Alysse Bryson [00:10:16]:
Always ready. Well, speaking of events and speaking of parenting, next, it is my pleasure to introduce Amy Liz Harrison, mother of, wait for it, eight children. Which means Amy is producing events every day, all day. Amy, kicking it over to you.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:10:37]:
It’s really true.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:10:39]:
Yeah. Whether it’s spring cleaning or something bigger like a holiday or a graduation or planning a trip or, you know, scraping some gum off the bottom of somebody’s shoe, everything is an event here and requires thought and some purpose. You know, we do things like having family meetings and connecting at birthday times and just really try to do intentional things. And sometimes the fff, which stands for forced family fun, doesn’t really go as planned. And so I need to just lean into that as well, and that’s okay too. So I wouldn’t say my events are anything like Deli’s or any of yours.
Kristin Graham [00:11:26]:
I’m actually thrilled to be a part.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:11:28]:
Of this company, present company. So I feel like I’m kind of the. You’re probably not supposed to say redheaded stepchild anymore, but I. I am redheaded by nature, so I maybe can say that. But thanks for including me because my events are a lot smaller scale than Yalls.
Alysse Bryson [00:11:47]:
Well, yes. And I learned how to say that from Kristen Graham. Yes. And.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:11:53]:
And an improv.
Alysse Bryson [00:11:55]:
You go to a lot of events as your husband is an executive and you usually have four to eight children in tow at these events.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:12:05]:
That’s true.
Alysse Bryson [00:12:05]:
So you’re actually taking many events to big events wherever you go. So I think you have a lot more event experience than you’re giving yourself credit.
Libby Sundgren [00:12:15]:
It’s true. And you know, the. It’s not just that, Amy, you know, make sure that everyone has dinner. It is. It is a true. Like, there are steps. There’s a process for everything. There are places where everything goes.
Libby Sundgren [00:12:33]:
Like, there is a real system to the events that you have that most. I don’t know any other parent who has a system like that. And I mean, you truly do run your house like a fun event. But it is, for sure.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:12:48]:
Thank you.
Kristin Graham [00:12:50]:
And can we not forget that she’s a published book author, so she holds events in the minds of people.
Libby Sundgren [00:12:57]:
And a podcaster. She hosts pod, her own podcast, you know.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:13:02]:
Well, and I think that’s an important point to bring up because as a woman, as a business owner, entrepreneur, worked in corporate, all the things that we have events for, it’s really easy. One of the things that I notice, and I don’t know, we have women listening, probably have men, too. As women, we tend to focus on what we do as moms. In fact, a lot of times people don’t realize what I do because they meet me in the capacity of being one of my children’s mother versus what I do out in the world that takes me to the events, whether it’s as a speaker, as a podcaster, as an author, all of those things. Emceeing an event, facilitating something. People don’t necessarily know us in the capacity of our professional work. And so I think it’s important to make sure that we are highlighting those things because it’s easy just to talk about the events. But there’s so much more.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:14:03]:
It’s the women that are making the events happen, and there are a lot of them that are going to be listening. So this fun table group, we have a lot of vibes in common with the people that are listening. So not only do we do the things behind the scenes, but we’re out there in front too.
Libby Sundgren [00:14:22]:
Wearing all the hats.
Alysse Bryson [00:14:23]:
Yes, wearing all the hats.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:14:25]:
Caps for sale.
Alysse Bryson [00:14:28]:
I think we should have fun table hats. They’ll be truckers. I’ll design them immediately.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:14:33]:
Yeah, different hats.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:14:34]:
I would like Chaos Coordinator or Out of Box.
Alysse Bryson [00:14:38]:
Okay. All right. We’re kind of have different labels. Well, we have one of those. What are they called, Libby? A Cricut. A Cry Cut Cricket.
Libby Sundgren [00:14:44]:
I think it’s Cricut. And we do have crafting machine, a screen printing, little screen printer. But we can also print on accessories. And I’m going to make a puzzle soon, so.
Kristin Graham [00:14:58]:
Wow.
Libby Sundgren [00:14:58]:
Yeah.
Kristin Graham [00:14:59]:
Swag store coming soon.
Alysse Bryson [00:15:01]:
Swag store coming soon to the fun table. Well, now that you know everybody at the fun table and why we’re here and how we got here, we’re going to start off with a book that we all read that I think is the perfect way to kick off this new session of the fun table. And it is called the Art of Gathering. How We Meet and why It Matters by Priya Parker. Am I spelled. Am I saying her name right? Yeah, Priya Parker. Priya Parker. And so we’re going to just jump right in.
Alysse Bryson [00:15:35]:
I know you all probably have a lot to say about this. I’ll just jump in first because I’m holding the book and I’m the bossiest at the moment. But I know you can all be bossy too. And I just actually loved how this book started. Like, it actually pulled me in right from the very beginning because it was like, why are you gathering? Like, think about why you’re gathering and what you’re hoping people are going to get out of it. Like, that’s the actual meat of a. Of a meeting of an event. And so sometimes I think we get so busy thinking about the outcome, thinking about the guests, thinking about, in my world, we were always thinking about sponsorships and fulfilling the sponsors and making the sponsors look good and, like doing all the tricks to sell all the tables and sell all the tickets.
Alysse Bryson [00:16:23]:
But sometimes I might miss the overall why. So I actually really loved that that’s where the book started.
Kristin Graham [00:16:30]:
I agree. And part of that is in the spirit of inclusion, going back to what Deli was saying, trying to please all the people and Elise please all the sponsors. We sometimes trade attendance for importance. And what I loved about this book is exclusion and making it matter for other people’s why. And as an example, I don’t need to go to sporting event things. I’LL eat my nachos in private. Thank you. I don’t need to watch teams play.
Kristin Graham [00:16:56]:
It’s like, especially because the book talks about, is it worth your time? And I do remember that she wrote this book before COVID And then it just really exploded in that what’s. What’s worth going to. And so for me, it’s like, I will save my social hours for something else, but a sporting thing ain’t my thing. And when we can include the people for whom it’s going to have value and exclude appropriately, that actually makes it a better event all around.
Libby Sundgren [00:17:27]:
Which is a good reminder, too, because, you know, as we host, like, all of, like, the major family holidays and we have a New Year’s party for all of our friends who have. Who do or don’t have kids, but a lot of them do have, you know, young kids. And, you know, babysitters and cabs on New Year’s Eve are kind of insane. So we do have a. I have a tendency not we. Because TJ my husband is not. Does not subscribe to this. He’s much better about it.
Libby Sundgren [00:18:00]:
But I’m like, we have to invite. If you invite this person, you definitely have to invite this person. And then we. If we invite this person, then we have to invite that entire group of people. And, you know, it can saturate and kind of kill the vibe sometimes, or you think it’ll be fine. There’s all these people, and then you’re like, oh, that’s kind of a weird corner over there. Because I didn’t really think about how if those, you know, people were left alone, that they would have really nothing to talk about and they’d be kind of bored. So as somebody who has a problem with excluding, it was a good reminder to exclude, but, like, with intention and with, you know, and it can be a good thing.
Libby Sundgren [00:18:47]:
It’s not necessarily I don’t like you. It’s. This is just not the right event for you, but there’s another one for you over here.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:18:56]:
I love that. And I loved her focus on purpose over tradition. Because I know a lot of times, at least in my family, we’ll get caught caught up in these are the things we do. This is, you know, the activity spread that we attend. And just recently, I have this small group of couple friends, and every Christmas, we get together during the holidays, and we do, like, the white elephant gift exchange. We do, like the chili bar, whatever. And this year I was like, you know, we all love the fun, funny gag gifts and the giant underwear and that, you know, parties, totally, we all love that. But we’ve actually been doing that for like a decade now.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:19:45]:
And like, I don’t know, is it still working? Do we need to change it up? Do we do a different activity this time? And we did and it wasn’t anything amazing. We just rented one of those little electric boats and wrapped up in all of our like cold weather gear and we had a great time. We just literally ate sandwiches and like cruised around Lake Union and it was so much fun just to do something different. But I think keeping it fresh sometimes is important because I will get locked into the old ideas of how things, quote, should look in my world and I’ll miss an adventure when I do that.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:20:24]:
Well, and that’s the evolution of events too, Amy. Right? I mean missing the adventure the way that events used to happen. I have a military background and we had all of the fancy china tablecloths, linens, punch bowls. We don’t have those things anymore. Like those are not necessary to have to put on a gathering. That’s beautiful. And as I think about whether it’s personal, starting with the end in mind, that’s usually how I approach things, is how do I want people to feel? What are we? What’s the purpose? And then how do I want people to feel aligned to that purpose and planning from there? So I loved that she talks about making every shirt, every aspect of your event aligns with purpose. And with us shifting from we had a pre Covid world, we had Covid.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:21:20]:
Now we’re shifting into a post Covid world, post apocalyptic. Yet where again you’re thinking about what’s the difference? Because Kristen, you mentioned my monogrammed everything. Well, I have a couple on the cusp of millennials or millennials. And then I have the rest of my kids are Gen Z’s. They don’t want monograms. They like personalize things. So at the Last graduation with 120 plus people at our house, I put tumblers and stickers, decorate your own tumbler and take it with you. But then you think about corporate events, how are we being sustainable? Because the days of handing out hand over fist swag that people just took home and threw away, that doesn’t align to our aspirations for the environment.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:22:10]:
So, so all that to say that why are you really gathering? What do you want? Have a purpose and make sure everything’s aligned. I really loved being able to reflect on how am I approaching things. It’s actually inspired me to rethink some of the ways That I do things.
Kristin Graham [00:22:28]:
And I want to go back to tie in what Libby first said about that, the intention of inclusion. But then it can backfire. I think that the curation of the right people at the right component, it becomes a kindness. So instead of thinking of excluding people or they’re going to feel left out, I think there’s two elements to that. The first is the intentionality and curation. And the second is communication. We’re so worried about how something might be taken. We just don’t share and communicate, saying, hey, I’m going to have this type of party.
Kristin Graham [00:22:59]:
You are all welcome to opt out if it’s not your thing. And Elise and I have often joked for years, feel free to make plans with me and then feel free to cancel. Because sometimes there’s nothing better than just being like, awesome, I’m not going out tonight. It’s that shared understanding and that communication that brings people together and gives them. And we’ll talk later about how to end a party or end an event. And I think the little pieces of communication go a long way to choice. That is absolutely the new way that events and gatherings need to have as an ingredient is choice.
Alysse Bryson [00:23:34]:
So we’ve been talking a lot about the planning and the intention that leads up to it. But then, you know, all events themselves have a beginning, a middle, and an end. And I think another part of the book, the Art of Gathering, that I really enjoyed was creating a bold opening. And that doesn’t mean that, like, when everybody walks in, you’ve got clowns jumping off the ceiling or something, because a lot of times, parties, events, they kind of are slow to trickle in. You know, you’ve got your people that show up early. You’ve got the ones that show up really early, which are mildly annoying because you’re still setting up. Then you have the ones that show up early. Then you have the ones that show up on time, and then you have the fashionably late people.
Alysse Bryson [00:24:21]:
And so how do you each navigate having a bold opening once everybody has kind of arrived, I’ll go.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:24:31]:
I have been known to do that game with people, particularly people who might not normally mix or know each other, where you think of, like. Like, let’s say this was a 4th of July party, right? So it could be anything loosely adjacent to America, history figures, you know, that are usually linked with America, like Betsy Ross or whatever. And, you know, write that name of that thing or person on a piece of paper and tape it to someone’s back, and then they have to kind of mingle and Ask questions, yes or no questions of other people to try and figure out who’s on their back. It’s a mixer game from like junior high youth group and some people love it and some people despise. All depends. But I like to do something interactive like that or like people bingo or something that kind of will mix people around a little bit.
Kristin Graham [00:25:34]:
The beginning of any event or gathering is always a little awkward, especially if not everybody knows each other and they’re not really sure yet of the rules. The clowns haven’t come off of the least society ceiling and I think it’s really important for there to be an action or an activity. So one of the things I’ve really appreciated in some of Elise and Libby’s events is there is a starter card, a topic, there could be quotes you could find, there could kind of back to what Amy said, actions of go up and write something here and post it on this board and it gives a starting point and a conversation starter that doesn’t involve you as the host. And the other thing I found in more intimate gatherings at the home, especially if you have introverts and extroverts, is give some people rules and say can you please direct everybody to where they should hang up their coats or put their items? Because that helps them have a purpose. Back to that word for interacting with other people. And it breaks the proverbial ice.
Alysse Bryson [00:26:34]:
And I think all these little tricks at breaking the ice are really important because a lot of people think that they need a drink or two to, to acclimate to an event because they come in with some anxiety, they’re nervous if they don’t know everybody. But as a non drinker, like I don’t have that as an option to like relax and get to know and break myself into the party. But I think that it can happen without the help of alcohol. Most certainly. Especially if people, people know what their role is or if they know they’re supposed to go and do something. Libby and I, when we do events, we love to do a lot of surprise and delights, just kind of little, little hidden activities, little Easter eggs that you can find throughout an event that kind of get people engaged and talking and then they might go and do something and then if they walk away with a memento from that exercise, I’m going to use a photo booth as a silly example. Although I will be honest, I’m also tired of photo booths myself. But you know, if somebody goes to a photo booth and then they walking around with a Polaroid, somebody might be like, oh, where did you get that? Or we have a guy that we’ve used a million times.
Alysse Bryson [00:27:48]:
We’ve actually had him on the podcast, Lou. He’s a caricature artist. And that’s been a really fun thing to do at events because he draws with a Crayola Sharpie. A Crayola black marker. It’s not a Sharpie. Excuse me, I just combined brands. And he can draw like, your. A headshot of you in, like, three minutes.
Alysse Bryson [00:28:06]:
And it’s. It’s oddly accurate. We’ve also had, like, tarot card readers and just different little activities throughout an event that kind of give people things to do. It gives them purpose. And by going through the activity, they will settle in and they will relax and that anxiety will kind of like roll off within an hour. An event. Most people are no longer anxious, Right? Most people have settled in and they kind of understand why they’re there and who is all there. And they are starting to.
Alysse Bryson [00:28:40]:
To really lean in and make connections. And at the end of the day, I think that’s what events are. They’re all about making meaningful connections.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:28:49]:
Well, that’s why we go as humans. We’re seeking out connection with other humans. We don’t go to events so that we can be alone or by ourselves. And I love the suggestions and ideas that you shared for. How do you get people involved? How do you draw them in? I’m assuming we can talk about that in addition to the book itself, because if you’re listening and you plan events, you probably are like, oh, I love that idea. I would love that idea. One of the. We all go networking, right? And that just feels like you.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:29:23]:
You went there to get connected with other humans, but you’re just standing there if you don’t know anyone and you’re like, somebody, please let me be part of your. Your circle. And it’s that we don’t want to be rejected, but it’s also up to us to throw ourselves into something. And, you know, we’ve all heard about opening the circle and making it into a horseshoe, but how do you avoid that feeling of being alone, the anxiety that comes with the. When you walk in the door. So I love those ideas that you offered and shared on. How do. How do you get your guests to feel more included? And yes, if you read the book, you get more we.
Libby Sundgren [00:30:03]:
One thing that we do at, like, big events usually is have a. We give people. I’m just going to call it a passport. And usually there’s a map and we mark out where they should go and have a specific person at that location or you know, maybe it’s go by the caricature artist and you know there’s somebody there with a gold sharpie or something or a stamp. Then they stamp your passport or wherever. It’s nice because it forces people to move around the space and to get to see everything. It gives them things to talk about with other people because you know, have you been to this artist over here and seen what he’s painting like that’s so cool. I’m really interested in that or you know, whatever.
Libby Sundgren [00:30:50]:
And then usually there’s some kind of enter to win prize or something if you bring it back with all the things signed. But that’s one thing we’ve done at you know, outside events that’s been really helpful. And in events at home, I’m just thinking about this because I’m at my house, I usually have my 7 year old, my oldest is 7 so usually I’ll have him be. He has the job of showing people, giving them kind of a little mini tour when they get there. So show them where to put their coats where they can get something to drink. All kinds of all, you know, for kids, adults, drinkers, non drinkers, everybody where the snacks are. And you know, he. So he kind of gives them the tour and shows them all the places to go.
Libby Sundgren [00:31:34]:
And then we have those Instax Polaroid cameras. I don’t know if you guys have those or I’m sure you’ve seen them, but we put those in different places and we’ll just remind, like ask them to, you know, take some photos and, and leave them around. And it’s also kind of a nice little icebreaker, something to do.
Kristin Graham [00:31:55]:
You reminded me of a few examples that goes back to priming guests, which is what she talks about in the book and then also rules when you get there. So one of the things that you just mentioned, Libby was like having somebody to tour and whether that’s signage. Elise mentioned earlier about people having the anxiety and even extroverts have anxiety walking into events. And the more questions you can answer, the more comfortable they can get quicker. And so where are the bathrooms where sitting. I have a. I have a friend who puts little place cards windmill. That is those types of events where.
Kristin Graham [00:32:32]:
So that takes the stress out of where should I sit. Or even that pre note whether it’s virtual or in person. Sending that note with the address again and the times again. Don’t assume that everybody remembers exactly because we communicated a while ago. And a note too about swag. I think there is an evolution back to purpose of what are we doing with all this stuff. And there’s a couple of events I’ve been to recently where instead of doing swag, they’ll say spin the wheel and your whatever you land on, that will be the charity to which we make a donation. I’ve seen people replace their white elephants with saying, we’re going to get together and the money we would have spent on that we’re going to put into a cause.
Kristin Graham [00:33:12]:
And then there was Elise mentioned. Surprise and delight. Deli and I were at this huge convention center. Thousands of high tech people, customized cupcakes with logos. Like, think of all the ridiculous stuff. We walked into this one room and there was a puppy petting station. And all of a sudden these. And I was speaking later that day and I was rolling on the floor like I was five years old.
Kristin Graham [00:33:36]:
The endorphins, y’all. It just went through the roof. And then the last thing I’ll say on swag, and I’m going to steal something from Delhi. When you come into a home, if one of your rules is maybe not wearing shoes, she always has a basket of holiday socks. And you can take off your shoes, which is helping, but then you feel like you walk away with something fun. And again, back to choice. I got to choose my swag and it delights me every time.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:34:07]:
I just had one quick thing that was awesome, Kristen and I think I might adopt a bunch of puppies. I would if my husband wouldn’t murder me. But, you know, this Christmas, I did something to try and integrate my older and my younger kids. So I’m not endorsing this, not sponsored by it, nothing like that. But I went on this goose chase app and basically it allows you to set up a scavenger hunt, a customized scavenger hunt for your group size. You come up with different missions. And so my guys had to team up. And then it was a big kid with a little kid was a team.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:34:48]:
We did have swag made and sweatshirts made and everybody’s team name on them. And then they would have to go and check in or take a photo of this, you know, pretzel place in Leavenworth or whatever. And they earned points. And then the winners got like a. A gift certificate to a certain place and they got to go together and just kind of bond. And I was just trying to think of different ways to have people connect and be able to kind of build a bridge between that age gap. And it worked really well.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:35:21]:
That works well in a corporate setting too, when you have employees that need to get to know each other because they’re working together. So I love that you brought that up, Amy, because I’ve done that in the past with teams as well.
Kristin Graham [00:35:32]:
And for virtual teams, use something like Kahoot or some of those games where you can still have that spirit without it being pricey or a hack to be in person.
Alysse Bryson [00:35:43]:
Yes, well, as you can see, we can talk about parties and events and tips and tricks forever, which is why this is going to be an ongoing series at the fun table. But as we wrap and wind down this conversation again, we all read the book the Art of Gathering. We will put a link to it in the show notes. I’m going to ask each of the ladies, on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being this must be in your at home events library, what do you score this book? Libby, I’ll start with you.
Libby Sundgren [00:36:18]:
Oh, gosh, I was just hoping you wouldn’t start with me. Oh, the pressure. You know, even as somebody who does events all the time, I. And who has done them for years professionally, I found some of the tips in here very, just very, very helpful. And whether it was a reminder or something I hadn’t thought of before, I just think everybody should read it. And, you know, focusing on intention when you’re doing events, whether they’re personal or professional, I think can really help weed out a lot of the things you don’t need and make something just more meaningful for everybody. I mean, I’d give it a five. If we’re looking at event worlds, I think it’s five.
Libby Sundgren [00:37:13]:
And whether it’s a, like I said, whether it’s a work event or a family event, I think it’s helpful.
Alysse Bryson [00:37:19]:
And I’m just going to jump in here just because you said the word intention a few times and do a little tiny cross promoting. But at work P2P, which is the company behind this podcast, we actually have a course called the Intentional Course. We offer multiple courses throughout the year. They’re virtual. They usually are in three week increments, an hour a week for three weeks. And then if you want to go on to the next one, you can. And it does give you really practical tips on how to practice having more intentionality in all aspects of your life. But I would say including events.
Alysse Bryson [00:37:56]:
All right, Amy. Liz Harrison, the Art of Gathering Score one to five.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:38:00]:
I’m gonna go with Libby and say a five two because I felt like there were some thought patterns that she gave in this book that I Hadn’t really put together. And I liked the way she worded them, and it made me have some pause as to the way I structure things and how I think about them. And is this about me or the other person or the people involved who are attending? And it just inspired a lot of that sort of stirring of my cognitive pot. So I appreciated it. I’m going to give it a five as well.
Alysse Bryson [00:38:42]:
All right, Kristin Graham.
Kristin Graham [00:38:45]:
I’m going solid four. If events folks are looking for a practicum or specific examples, I think there’s.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:38:53]:
A lot of other places they can.
Kristin Graham [00:38:54]:
Find some of that. But this is really for understanding the psychology of an experience and how to create individual impact. So I think it’s an advanced level.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:39:05]:
Like a graduate school book.
Alysse Bryson [00:39:06]:
Okay. I like that deli.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:39:08]:
I’m gonna bridge the gap between the two, and I’m gonna give it a 4.5 out of 5.
Libby Sundgren [00:39:14]:
Oh, yeah.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:39:15]:
And what I liked about it is definitely aligned to who I am. The why? Why? It’s the intentionality piece that you’ve already mentioned. The other thing about this book is I would gift this to any young person. If you’re looking for a gift to give someone who’s just starting out in life, this is a great book because not only can you give it to an event planner or someone who’s a team leader or someone. Someone who wants to create a memorable, meaningful experience, it’s also for people who are interested in creating human connection. And the reason we have events is because of humans. That’s why we’re doing it. So making sure that we remember the humans that we’re planning the events for.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:40:01]:
I’m going to give it a solid 4.5 out of 5.
Alysse Bryson [00:40:05]:
Okay. The humans and the puppies, though. I think we made it really clear.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:40:09]:
Yes.
Alysse Bryson [00:40:09]:
Well, I mean, the puppies are for the human puppies.
Libby Sundgren [00:40:11]:
Puppy connections. Elise, what would you give it?
Dele Downs Kooley [00:40:14]:
I.
Alysse Bryson [00:40:15]:
You know. Well, first of all, I just want to give a nod to the COVID because I do judge a cover by its book, and I find the COVID to be aesthetically pleasing and colorful. And I’m going to actually jump on Team Deli and go with 4.5. But I do think this is a must have in your arsenal. I do think it is. Maybe not for someone totally new starting out, but a little bit elevated as well. But I also agree that this is a gift you could give a lot of different people because there are some great takeaways in here, and I recommend doing a hard copy versus audible. As much as I love audible this is one that you might want to refer back to.
Alysse Bryson [00:40:59]:
You’re going to want to maybe dog ear some pages, puppy ear some pages. You’re going to want to highlight. Right? You’re going to want to highlight, refer back to. So in my, in my party library, this one would definitely be in there.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:41:12]:
This kind of reminds me of before this book came out. I’m. I did protocol for the military. I did all these different things. And Kate Spade had a box set of books for putting events on. And I remember receiving that as a gift one year from my ex husband.
Alysse Bryson [00:41:29]:
What?
Dele Downs Kooley [00:41:30]:
And it actually walks you through having an event. And so in the Pacific Northwest we don’t have as many of those resources, which is why I love this book because it’s across the US It’s a best selling book. But I grew up in the Midwest. There were a lot of southern traditions folded into that. So events are kind of a thing. So I love that there are books like the Kate Spade. That was the first one that I got all about event planning and now this one. So definitely a high recommend going in the library.
Alysse Bryson [00:42:05]:
We’re going to circle back on a future episode of the Kate Spade box book, whatever that is. Because I’m going to need more information. I’m going to blend it.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:42:12]:
I was just looking at my bookshelf out of sight.
Alysse Bryson [00:42:14]:
I’m going to need more information. This is also a moment for me to drop an embarrassing story about Kate Spade. I was once at the Kate Spade outlet outside of Palm Springs and I bought this big beautiful bag. I was very excited. I thought, oh, this is going to be a really cool carry on. And when I got up to the counter, the woman was like, oh, what are you expecting? I was buying a diaper. I was buying a diaper bag. Yeah, I bought it anyway.
Alysse Bryson [00:42:40]:
But they have a perfect.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:42:42]:
You are ahead of your time girlfriend. Because nowadays we just buy big bags and throw our baby stuff in it.
Alysse Bryson [00:42:47]:
I like bags and I cannot.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:42:49]:
I like bags and I cannot laugh.
Alysse Bryson [00:42:53]:
Well, that’s a wrap for this edition of the party table. The fun table. I think we’re saying the fun table, but it is a party. We hope that you will tune back to further conversations because this crew is going to continue to show up and talk about everything events because we are all on a mission to win the game of events and make connection with humans and puppies. Until next time, thanks for listening to Beats Working Winning the game of events where we explore what it takes to make moments unforgettable.
Libby Sundgren [00:43:26]:
If you’re leaving with a little more inspiration, a little more perspective, and a big sideache from all of the laughing at our funny jokes, then we’ve done our job.
Alysse Bryson [00:43:35]:
Beats Working is a work. P2P production if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review us on your favorite podcast platforms.
Libby Sundgren [00:43:45]:
Your support helps us keep the magic going.
