Episode Summary:
Alysse Bryson and Libby Sundgren are joined at The Fun Table by Kristin Graham, Amy Liz Harrison and Dele Downs Kooley for a hilarious and heartfelt look at reunions. From over-the-top family gatherings (including themed Olympics and Civil War reenactments!) to awkward high school reunions and surprise run-ins at the airport, the group unpacks the chaos, nostalgia, and sometimes cringe-worthy moments that make reunions truly unforgettable. Key takeaways: Reunions aren’t just about reliving the past — whether with family, classmates, or old coworkers, they’re a chance to celebrate legacy, reconnect, and embrace how far you’ve come (spoiler: sometimes the best reunions are with chosen family).
Timestamps:
[00:00] – Alysse’s senior yearbook dreams of pickleball stardom
[00:01:46] – Why family reunions are an extreme sport in Alysse’s world
[00:07:12] – Life-sized board games, gold panning, and creative cousins
[00:13:00] – Midwest steak memories and rambunctious spoons games
[00:17:54] – Finding community and legacy beyond biological family
[00:22:54] – Would your 18-year-old self recognize you now?
[00:27:44] – Airport reunions, ex run-ins, and coworker catch-ups
[00:34:17] – Unanswered prayers, embracing your path, and gathering with intention
[00:37:09] – “Reason, season, or lifetime”: What reunions teach us
Resources & Links:
-Book: “The Art of Gathering”
-Event: Sidekick Suppers
-Meet The Fun Table: Kristin Graham, Dele Downs Kooley, Amy Liz Harrison
-Alysse & Libby: Bios & LinkedIn
Connect with Us:
-Website: www.beatsworkingpodcast.com
-LinkedIn: @BEATS WORKING Show
-Instagram: @beatsworkingshow
-Facebook: @Beats Working Show
-YouTube: @BEATSWORKINGPODCAST
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Transcript
The following transcript is not certified. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. The information contained within this document is for general information purposes only.
00:00:00:05 – 00:00:26:19
Alysse Bryson
Welcome back to another episode of my favorite time of the month, The Fun Table. That’s right, I have gathered around the table with my favorite party people, and today we’re going to take a trip down memory lane. Whether you like it or not, this episode of The Fun Table dives headfirst into chaos, nostalgia, and occasional cringe fest that are reunions.
00:00:27:00 – 00:00:55:14
Alysse Bryson
From high school gymnasiums to family barbecues, we unpack the unique cocktail of emotions stirred up by seeing old friends, frenemies and family members. Have you ever wondered why people never quit moving on from prom night? Or why you suddenly feel the urge to Google your college ex before showing up? Libbie, Elise, Amy, Deli, and Kristen are bringing all the stories, the laughs, and the real talk to the table.
00:00:55:16 – 00:00:57:04
Alysse Bryson
Welcome to the fun table.
00:00:57:04 – 00:01:00:17
Dele Downs Kooley
Ladies who wish you.
00:01:00:19 – 00:01:24:11
Alysse Bryson
Well. Okay, when it comes to reunions, I. I don’t love high school reunions. I recently recently, a year ago went to my 30 year high school reunion, which I know if you’re watching this video on YouTube, like most people are, you’re very confused right now. How could she possibly be at a 30 year high school reunion? Oh, also weird.
00:01:24:14 – 00:01:49:23
Alysse Bryson
This year my son is having his ten year high school reunion, so there’s some wild math for you. I know, but the reunions that I am best known for are my family reunions. For those of you who have been friends with me or following me on social media, you have probably seen every three years that it looks like I go to family church camp because I do.
00:01:50:01 – 00:02:21:12
Alysse Bryson
Our family reunions are very organized. There’s lots of games, there’s lots of coordinated activities. We get divided into teams. There’s usually outfits like it. My my family takes reunions like it’s an extreme sport. And I have to tell you, I love it. Like I’m here for it. Like like when people see my family reunion Instagram Reels, I think you all get a little jelly because you’re like, wow, how do I get in on that?
00:02:21:18 – 00:02:22:20
Alysse Bryson
00:02:22:22 – 00:02:26:06
Kristen Graham
It’s true. Yeah.
00:02:26:08 – 00:02:58:21
Libby Sundgren
It’s just is your family reunions I mean like you said they’re themed. They’re multi-day. You guys have somebody who plans them or a couple of people are doesn’t like they’re in charge of the planning. So they plan games. People kind of in costumes. It is like is scheduled from like oh 7 to 10. I mean you don’t have to do everything, but there is an itinerary, there’s something going on, whether it’s free time or it’s, game time.
00:02:58:21 – 00:03:05:17
Libby Sundgren
You guys do things and are there do you guys also have, like, plays and musicals people put on? Oh, yeah.
00:03:05:18 – 00:03:30:06
Alysse Bryson
Oh, yeah. We once we once I think at the last one, actually, we reenacted one of the civil wars, I’m pretty sure. And like, there were outfits, like, there were outfits, because a lot of my family very crafty. So there’s a lot of there’s a lot of people making things because we’re very, very crafty. Yeah. I’m pretty sure I could find that video, of reenacting a civil War.
00:03:30:07 – 00:03:31:12
Alysse Bryson
That definitely happened.
00:03:31:14 – 00:03:50:21
Dele Downs Kooley
I have so many, like, so many things. First of all, I’m going to file this under things you can’t make up. And is your family in the Pacific Northwest West? Like where? Where geographically does this family summer camp Olympics take place?
00:03:50:23 – 00:03:57:10
Alysse Bryson
So the family is all over. But this reunion takes place in bend, Oregon.
00:03:57:12 – 00:03:57:20
Libby Sundgren
00:03:57:21 – 00:04:12:00
Alysse Bryson
Because there’s there we’ve got people in Alaska, Washington, in Idaho, California, and a few, like in I like my sister’s on the East Coast, but most people are in the States that I just mentioned. Yes.
00:04:12:02 – 00:04:20:12
Dele Downs Kooley
Okay. Yeah, we have family reunions. None of that happens. But is there someone that can adopt me into your family because I’m down?
00:04:20:17 – 00:04:21:23
Alysse Bryson
What’s the. Well, you know.
00:04:22:01 – 00:04:22:14
Kristen Graham
Civil War.
00:04:22:14 – 00:04:26:11
Dele Downs Kooley
Reenactment costumes. Like I’m down for all of it.
00:04:26:13 – 00:04:51:14
Alysse Bryson
Yeah. There. It’s actually to get in. So if you if you bring someone to the reunion, like you’re plus one, it is assumed that you are about to get married if you’re not already married or engaged. Like it’s a very serious move to bring someone to a family reunion. Which, let’s be clear, ladies, I have never, ever, ever even come close to doing knots.
00:04:51:14 – 00:05:05:05
Alysse Bryson
Nope, not for me. But now I’ve seen many cousins that were like, you know, babies at the at reunions that have brought their significant others. And decades later, I’m still showing up alone. But that’s okay, I will be has.
00:05:05:06 – 00:05:10:19
Dele Downs Kooley
One I will Martin solving all day long. Can I be your plus one?
00:05:10:21 – 00:05:14:23
Kristen Graham
You’ve only given her the location. Like careful sheets.
00:05:15:01 – 00:05:16:10
Libby Sundgren
And she’ll find it neat.
00:05:16:10 – 00:05:21:17
Dele Downs Kooley
Don’t be like 360 or find your friends, because I will show up as your plus one.
00:05:21:22 – 00:05:22:15
Kristen Graham
Well.
00:05:22:17 – 00:05:24:21
Dele Downs Kooley
At that family camp. Olympics?
00:05:24:23 – 00:05:54:21
Alysse Bryson
Yeah. There was one year where they recreated a board game, but it was life size. And then we were divided into teams. There was the red team, the blue team, the yellow team, the green team. We had vests, we had hats. It was a whole thing. And there was one of the activity was panning for gold. And one of my cousins quilted all these blankets to look like rivers, and then spray painted rocks and sprinkled them all over the blankets so that the little kids could go panning for gold.
00:05:55:00 – 00:05:55:15
Alysse Bryson
This is the.
00:05:55:15 – 00:05:56:03
Libby Sundgren
Level.
00:05:56:03 – 00:05:58:21
Alysse Bryson
Of detail to which my family rises.
00:05:59:00 – 00:06:04:11
Kristen Graham
This is like 23 and me, but like, I know.
00:06:04:13 – 00:06:06:02
Libby Sundgren
I mean what I said.
00:06:06:02 – 00:06:06:16
Kristen Graham
My family.
00:06:06:16 – 00:06:12:13
Dele Downs Kooley
Was pretty groovy for the family camp Olympics. I mean we don’t do that. We just have a family reunion that.
00:06:12:15 – 00:06:47:22
Libby Sundgren
I mean I do at least. Do you think that just that level of planning does it bring. More stress? I mean, clearly I think it would bring a little bit more stress. But who is like planning this stuff? So who knows. It could just be like stress you love. Do you think because you have a very diverse family, you know, you have all different ages, all different, you know, beliefs and people and things they love and things they don’t love?
00:06:48:00 – 00:06:55:22
Libby Sundgren
Do these family reunions bring you guys closer together with all of the group activities?
00:06:56:00 – 00:07:21:04
Alysse Bryson
Yeah, I think they do. And I don’t actually I don’t actually think we’re that diverse, you know? So my my mom had two brothers and one sister, and she had a brother, my uncle Quentin, very close to a her age. And then her older brother and sister were like 15, 16 years older. So there’s a huge there’s a huge gap, which means that like you, nobody knows, like, wait, are you a cousin?
00:07:21:04 – 00:07:40:07
Alysse Bryson
Are you an aunt or are you an uncle? Like a bunch of my cousins thinks I’m an aunt because I’m the age that an aunt to be. So it gets a little confusing in in that sense. And there is a lot of I mean, there’s a lot of worship time. There’s a lot of, church services that happen, you know, in addition to the theme.
00:07:40:07 – 00:08:06:14
Alysse Bryson
But in addition to the church services, we’re also pretty intense about playing Mafia, which if you haven’t played that game before, it’s a game of murder and lying. And and my family loves it. In fact, one year it got down to my sister and my Uncle Quentin, who’s retired FBI and one other person and my sister convinced my Uncle Quentin, the retired FBI, that she was innocent.
00:08:06:14 – 00:08:08:14
Alysse Bryson
And she was definitely not.
00:08:08:16 – 00:08:09:18
Libby Sundgren
There’s been a murder.
00:08:09:18 – 00:08:17:07
Alysse Bryson
And then and and then we had to we couldn’t play that game for the rest of the reunion. It was like it got too heated. It got really it got really intense.
00:08:17:07 – 00:08:21:10
Kristen Graham
That was going to be my question is, how competitive does it get? Is it all actual.
00:08:21:10 – 00:08:34:05
Alysse Bryson
Very okay, very competitive. But you also have to know that like there’s no alcohol at these reunions. There’s no I mean, there’s no you know, there’s no substances involved. So this is just pure.
00:08:34:07 – 00:08:35:10
Libby Sundgren
Even Jesus.
00:08:35:10 – 00:08:36:00
Alysse Bryson
Loving.
00:08:36:04 – 00:08:39:12
Libby Sundgren
Just family bonding. I mean, you.
00:08:39:12 – 00:08:41:14
Dele Downs Kooley
Got to jump in.
00:08:41:16 – 00:09:03:12
Amy Liz Harrison
I don’t want to interrupt. So I was trying to do this, but I have a lot of questions about this, because, you see, this is the kind of thing that is going to be my family going forward. So we might have to have a side talk at some point. But at least I need to know for the unplugged portion, like reunion light portion that is optional.
00:09:03:12 – 00:09:24:02
Kristen Graham
The opt in parts. Is anybody shamed for like, not showing up to those parts, or is it like these are the mandatory items and then these are the optional things. And then my part B of this question is how do you guys decide on a theme for the reunion and who has the ultimate say?
00:09:24:04 – 00:09:50:10
Alysse Bryson
That’s a lot of a lot of good questions. Let me see if I can unpack that. So no, there’s no guilt or shame if you do or don’t show up to the reunion, if you show up and you do or don’t participate in the activities, pretty much during the day is pretty loose. People go golfing, shopping, hiking, rafting, whatever, like all the activities, or they’re stuck with all the little kids by the pool and the barn animals or whatever.
00:09:50:12 – 00:10:18:02
Alysse Bryson
So it’s very, very loose now. But that evening at the evening time, that is where you’re there, you’re pretty much there, and you’re participating in some way, shape or form, even if you’re, you know, one of the elders just looking on from the sidelines. So we actually just had a changing of the guards. And so and two of my cousins have been on beats working, winning the game of events.
00:10:18:04 – 00:10:49:04
Alysse Bryson
Sheena and Bethany, because they both have that planning in their background, and Sheena and her mother have and her sister have just taken over being like the ones in charge. And technically, Sheena is my second cousin because I’m cousins with I’m first cousins with her mom, but so they have taken over like the coordination of what is going to happen each day, but everybody gets assigned jobs, so you get assigned like this is your day to do breakfast.
00:10:49:04 – 00:11:04:14
Alysse Bryson
This is your night to do dinner, and you are expected to show up and do whatever the food prep is or whatever the cleaning is. But there are people that are like, pretty much like, these are the Costco runners. These are the people that know how to cook. I am not in either of those camps, to be clear.
00:11:04:16 – 00:11:09:03
Alysse Bryson
But yes. No, it’s it’s it’s pretty. It’s pretty organized. It’s pretty organized.
00:11:09:08 – 00:11:12:03
Kristen Graham
Are we not going to go back to the barn animals comment. We’re just skipping.
00:11:12:03 – 00:11:15:15
Libby Sundgren
Over that one. I know, I, I don’t know, I mean, I don’t even.
00:11:15:15 – 00:11:16:19
Kristen Graham
Know how to talk about.
00:11:16:19 – 00:11:30:00
Dele Downs Kooley
Anything else after this. I’m like, I grew up in the Midwest. I was thinking wild and crazy, like, we have our own brand of cattle. So that was my favorite thing, was the steak the size of a plate that I.
00:11:30:00 – 00:11:31:14
Kristen Graham
Could use more barn.
00:11:31:15 – 00:11:32:13
Libby Sundgren
On my uncle.
00:11:32:13 – 00:12:03:14
Dele Downs Kooley
Phil making the steaks like our biggest things were like, can we get potatoes with no onions? The old people like onions. We didn’t. I got tackled by my cousin playing spoons off the end of a picnic table, and we got banned from playing spoons when we wrapped. I don’t know if his aunt and Annie or Aunt Joyce on silverware around a finger, because the game got a little, I don’t know, passionate, but like, we didn’t have any, we didn’t have any of that.
00:12:03:14 – 00:12:15:21
Dele Downs Kooley
And I thought ours were pretty wild. Like, we would leave on a Saturday to go to mass and come back for my one part of my family. You had put it on pause for a moment before you.
00:12:15:23 – 00:12:22:06
Kristen Graham
How many of you guys had family reunions growing up like that was part of your thing? Okay, I was just wondering.
00:12:22:06 – 00:12:23:09
Dele Downs Kooley
Oh, they were huge.
00:12:23:09 – 00:12:26:14
Kristen Graham
Like, yeah, throughout the whole thing, I mean, my mom’s.
00:12:26:16 – 00:12:30:18
Alysse Bryson
Maiden name was Smith, so, like, yeah, there’s a lot there’s a lot of Smith.
00:12:30:18 – 00:12:31:11
Kristen Graham
Smiths.
00:12:31:11 – 00:12:40:00
Alysse Bryson
We’ve been doing these every 2 to 3 years before Jacob, my son, was born. So for 30 years, for over 30 years.
00:12:40:02 – 00:12:42:18
Kristen Graham
It’s amazing. Admirable. Yeah. All right.
00:12:42:19 – 00:13:04:04
Alysse Bryson
But and now it’s like 70, 80. I don’t know how many there are like. And there will now be kids there that I’m not sure who goes to who. I’m like, I’m pretty sure because I’m connected with all of them on social media. But I would say that it’s all about legacy, right? It’s about about like it’s like so everybody knows where we come from and and what our roots are.
00:13:04:04 – 00:13:12:19
Alysse Bryson
And you know, the importance of Grandma and Grandpa Smith because it started with four kids and now it’s like this whole, like, little village. You know.
00:13:12:21 – 00:13:44:03
Dele Downs Kooley
I think that’s really cool when you think about the loneliness epidemic that we have in the world. And I was just watching some social media, something we all are, where they were talking about. They showed the timeline of the difference between how people met their partners and how they spent their time, and it went from all their time with their family and in their celebration of religion, of choice to now they spend all their time on the internet and they don’t spend time around their family.
00:13:44:03 – 00:14:10:19
Dele Downs Kooley
And I love that you bring up the topic of legacy, because it’s in those reunions that that’s where you get to know the humans and you get to know the legacy. Like, why are the old people important? The the elders in my life are so incredibly important. I used to write them. I used to write everyone in my family before we had email and all those things.
00:14:10:19 – 00:14:40:23
Dele Downs Kooley
I’d write them a letter and a handwritten letter and send one photo, same photo, to the entire family. Well, then they couldn’t read my handwriting because their eyesight was bad in their 80s. And so I would type in really big prints and print it off and do the same thing. But I wouldn’t have had that connection to the older people in my family if I didn’t go to reunions and love my Uncle Phil because he gave my daughter a sucker when she wasn’t even a year old.
00:14:40:23 – 00:14:52:14
Dele Downs Kooley
Like that was his job. The shock and awe like me turn my back and come back, and Uncle Phil’s feeding the baby suckers like it was okay.
00:14:52:16 – 00:15:14:12
Alysse Bryson
Well, you know, one thing that I know that I’ve noticed every at every reunion is the first night that we gather for a meal, right? You what? You see is everybody in their individual families sitting together because that’s who they came with. That’s who they know the best. But by the end of the reunion, which is not more than 3 or 4 days, you don’t see that anymore.
00:15:14:12 – 00:15:24:02
Alysse Bryson
You see everybody sitting with everybody and everybody talking to everybody, and that ice just kind of melts relatively quickly, you know, in a very short period of time.
00:15:24:06 – 00:15:27:23
Dele Downs Kooley
Pardon the pun, relatively.
00:15:28:01 – 00:15:32:03
Alysse Bryson
Thank you. I’ll be here all day. But I’m not Kristen. I mean jazz hands.
00:15:32:06 – 00:15:54:20
Kristen Graham
It’s like you’re I love this. This is like me watching the Hallmark Channel descriptions of like what I want to watch first. I love to spend some time, though. For those who don’t feel a connection to their biological families and either reunions that show us that are almost a rearview mirror, show us from whence we came like. And that could be high school.
00:15:54:20 – 00:16:08:15
Kristen Graham
That could be lots of things or families sometimes, but also finding new communities. If you don’t necessarily fit or feel part of your nuclear or your biological group. Curious, you’re all experiences on that.
00:16:08:21 – 00:16:11:13
Alysse Bryson
I’m never going to another high school reunion ever again.
00:16:11:15 – 00:16:13:02
Dele Downs Kooley
I’ve never been to one.
00:16:13:04 – 00:16:14:03
Kristen Graham
I’ve never I don’t.
00:16:14:05 – 00:16:14:20
Alysse Bryson
Yeah, don’t I.
00:16:14:20 – 00:16:15:16
Libby Sundgren
Don’t start.
00:16:15:18 – 00:16:17:11
Alysse Bryson
Don’t start. No.
00:16:17:13 – 00:16:45:10
Kristen Graham
I mean, I knew exactly one high school reunion and I’m here to tell you guys it was my 10th, and it was the one and only time that I have ever felt good about my high school. And my position in life. I mean, by the time I went to my 10th, let’s see, I had three kids. I was moved, so I was gone out of California, which for some reason felt kind of amazing to me.
00:16:45:10 – 00:17:19:19
Kristen Graham
I’m not sure why I love my home state now, but at the time I was kind of over it and everybody I knew from high school. And keep in mind, I was not popular, okay? I was not in the in crowd. I was more of like the nerdy choir person, but I felt like I had accomplished something. A lot of the jocks were like overweight and nothing against being overweight, but it was sort of like they had kind of let themselves, you know, cigarets on their breath, you know, receding hairline, the whole nine yards.
00:17:19:19 – 00:17:42:15
Kristen Graham
And again, no shade on that. But ten years later, I wasn’t expecting it. That’s all I’m going to say. I felt like it was kind of a confidence booster. It is also goes to when we peak and how long we hang on to that. And it’s interesting. The sociological anthropological mix of high school reunions is fascinating. But like Delhi, I’ve never been to mind.
00:17:42:17 – 00:17:57:06
Dele Downs Kooley
I stay in touch with the people from high school that are important to me and they some of them will keep me informed about things that are happening outside of the people that I’ve used to, to stay in touch with Libby.
00:17:57:06 – 00:17:59:03
Kristen Graham
What about you? Where so I’m.
00:17:59:03 – 00:18:24:11
Libby Sundgren
From a small town, and I did go to my ten year and my 20 year. Right. 20 years. Yeah, I think it was. Yeah. The area that few years ago I went to both. But because, you know, Pendleton is like, you know, it’s I’m like, super easy to get to if you’re not living, you know, in the close area.
00:18:24:11 – 00:19:04:14
Libby Sundgren
So I think it was it’s hard to get people to come back to a small town when they either for a reunion. When they either already live in the general area. So they see people on a fairly regular basis. I think that can make the appeal of a reunion less fun if you’re like, I seen these people, you know like every other week and I have like and you know at this age, like people have kids and like a responsibility is like their own parents, you know, all kinds jobs, whatever, everything else going on, or you have people who live very far away and it is a trek to get back there.
00:19:04:14 – 00:19:10:01
Libby Sundgren
So I will say both reunions were pretty small.
00:19:10:03 – 00:19:14:16
Dele Downs Kooley
But they were both very fun.
00:19:14:16 – 00:19:54:16
Libby Sundgren
And actually my one of my best friends from childhood and I just kind of had a but not a falling out officially, but kind of the growing up are just some like misunderstandings and miscommunications and different phases of life where I think it was hard for us to understand where the other person was. And at our 20th reunion, I that friend and I, we’ve been I mean talking before then but we you know, having a social both of us.
00:19:54:18 – 00:20:24:18
Libby Sundgren
I’m so sorry. I was in a totally different place than you were. I, like, miss you so much. I’m just so glad that we’re friends again. Like closer friends. You know, it’s not like we removed each other from our phones. We still checked in periodically, but it wasn’t the same. So it was actually like, I was so glad I went because we, you know, we were fine without having that conversation, but it was really nice to have that with her because I just love her.
00:20:24:18 – 00:20:45:10
Libby Sundgren
And, you know, people just, you know, sometimes just you have those people from me, well, you know, from all stages of life who you can just kind of sink back in with at any time, no matter how much time has passed. And I do feel that with my high school friends quite a bit.
00:20:45:12 – 00:21:04:02
Kristen Graham
That’s such a great point, because I think we were talking about it earlier with social media, and you feel like you’re connected to friends, but something happens when you’re in person. Forgiveness, grace, opportunity. Things. That’s I think there’s something to be said for the in real life magic. There’s a lot I love that.
00:21:04:04 – 00:21:08:11
Libby Sundgren
Yeah, yeah. So shout out to Katherine. Love you girl.
00:21:08:13 – 00:21:16:23
Kristen Graham
Katherine. Here’s Jeff Wood, your 18 year old self. Recognize who you are now. Like if you had a reunion with yourself right now.
00:21:17:01 – 00:21:18:05
Libby Sundgren
Oh great question.
00:21:18:05 – 00:21:21:18
Kristen Graham
So what an amazing question. And no.
00:21:21:23 – 00:21:27:06
Alysse Bryson
My 18 year old self would be blacked out so she wouldn’t know what’s going on. To be clear.
00:21:27:08 – 00:21:28:06
Dele Downs Kooley
Oh my goodness.
00:21:28:11 – 00:21:30:18
Alysse Bryson
It’s only funny if it’s true.
00:21:30:20 – 00:21:52:12
Kristen Graham
It’s funny. It’s true. Sorry it’s such a good question Kristen, because I think it brings up for me, could I have seen the potential for my own character or growth? And I couldn’t at that point in time. I just thought, this is who I am. This is my life. This is how it is. This is how I’m going to be.
00:21:52:14 – 00:22:07:02
Kristen Graham
And I didn’t even think that I wanted or needed to grow beyond that. Isn’t that kind of sad? But I really am thinking about it now that you brought that up, and it’s like, yeah, I, I wouldn’t recognize myself for sure.
00:22:07:07 – 00:22:32:04
Dele Downs Kooley
Did anybody else do those time capsule things in high school where they were like, where are you going to be in? Because you know, they oh, I’ve not been to my high school reunions, but I’m assuming they ask those questions. So when you go in the ten, 20, 30 year that you can go back and see. So of course, before we recorded this episode, I looked up the only person who I remembered what they put in their time capsule.
00:22:32:08 – 00:22:51:22
Dele Downs Kooley
She was on the cheer squad with me. We were like a bunch of nerdy smarty pants cheerleaders. I don’t know, she’s she is a doctor and I don’t know what her life is like because I have not spoken to her since high school. But I thought I had never imagined the life that I have today. Like you, Amy, I.
00:22:52:00 – 00:23:02:03
Dele Downs Kooley
I had this idea based on where I was at that time and never imagined the life that I have today at all, ever.
00:23:02:05 – 00:23:30:04
Alysse Bryson
You know, I, I don’t know if I did a time capsule, but I know for certain that in my high school senior annual that all the seniors were asked, like what they’re going to be when they grow up. And this is proof, this is documented proof that I have always been ahead of my time. And I have always been a trendsetter because next to my senior picture, which, let’s be clear, looks like a glamor shot from inside the mall.
00:23:30:04 – 00:23:31:20
Alysse Bryson
I have the biggest floof ever.
00:23:31:20 – 00:23:33:13
Libby Sundgren
The big banks, the blue I can.
00:23:33:15 – 00:23:45:01
Alysse Bryson
Frickley perfectly big blond tendrils. It said I wanted to become a wait for it professional pickleball player. What? Yeah.
00:23:45:03 – 00:23:45:20
Kristen Graham
Yeah.
00:23:45:20 – 00:23:47:13
Libby Sundgren
That’s right.
00:23:47:15 – 00:23:50:11
Alysse Bryson
Class of 1993. Baby go Tigers.
00:23:50:12 – 00:23:54:22
Kristen Graham
Ambition. Wow.
00:23:55:00 – 00:24:00:18
Alysse Bryson
For those of you that don’t know, pickleball did originate in the Pacific Northwest. And yes, it is that old.
00:24:00:20 – 00:24:10:19
Dele Downs Kooley
I seriously just answer that question because I did not grow up in the Pacific Northwest, so I am constantly amazed and baffled.
00:24:10:21 – 00:24:13:05
Libby Sundgren
By the pickleball phenomenon.
00:24:13:06 – 00:24:16:08
Dele Downs Kooley
It is so cool. I’m going to deck myself out in some pickleball.
00:24:16:08 – 00:24:22:09
Libby Sundgren
It’s so fun just to hear it. Some people don’t like hearing that. The click of the paddle on the pickleball that I like it.
00:24:22:11 – 00:24:24:01
Dele Downs Kooley
And they get so competitive.
00:24:24:03 – 00:24:26:09
Alysse Bryson
It’s the only kitchen I want to be in.
00:24:26:11 – 00:24:27:08
Kristen Graham
They have a kitchen.
00:24:27:09 – 00:24:36:13
Libby Sundgren
I was like, what? Thank you. Hey, Kristen, what about you? What would your eat? What would your 18 year old self say about you today?
00:24:36:15 – 00:25:04:20
Kristen Graham
Oh absolutely no clue. And I think that that’s that did not knowing give us greater potential because it was kind of unwritten about. I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona. My only goal was to get the F out of Phoenix, Arizona. So I did. That’s why I ask that question earlier about family reunions. I was in a place that technically is a hometown that never felt like home.
00:25:04:22 – 00:25:27:01
Kristen Graham
And so for me, I was always looking to what was next. And in fact, when I selected a college I never even visited at first I just packed my three bags allowed by the airlines and got on the plane and showed up somewhere new. I was so focused on what I didn’t want that what I wanted was just going to be up for grabs.
00:25:27:01 – 00:25:46:19
Kristen Graham
So I think that and that’s been fortuitous and other things in my life too. But I was, you know, they always say you should run towards something and not from something. I didn’t warn that until later, but, but it ended up being one of the best things of my life. But I just knew what I wasn’t. I had no clue what I could be.
00:25:46:21 – 00:25:47:18
Libby Sundgren
The guy.
00:25:47:22 – 00:25:51:12
Alysse Bryson
That’s easier to figure out what you don’t want to be or what you don’t want to do, than it is to figure.
00:25:51:12 – 00:25:51:23
Libby Sundgren
Out what you.
00:25:51:23 – 00:25:52:22
Alysse Bryson
Do right?
00:25:53:01 – 00:25:58:07
Kristen Graham
I think so, and sometimes that’s what life gives you is bowling ball parameters. Yeah.
00:25:58:11 – 00:26:00:16
Alysse Bryson
You know what kind of reunion I like.
00:26:00:18 – 00:26:01:04
Kristen Graham
00:26:01:06 – 00:26:03:12
Alysse Bryson
Former coworker reunion.
00:26:03:13 – 00:26:04:11
Libby Sundgren
Yes.
00:26:04:13 – 00:26:09:19
Alysse Bryson
Yeah. Sign me up for those. I’ll show up to all of those. Yeah.
00:26:09:21 – 00:26:14:03
Kristen Graham
Well that’s scheduled or unscheduled like awkward airport or scheduled.
00:26:14:04 – 00:26:17:11
Alysse Bryson
No, it has to be scheduled. I have to be able to plan my outfit ahead of time.
00:26:17:13 – 00:26:20:01
Kristen Graham
Okay? Okay. Yeah.
00:26:20:03 – 00:26:24:17
Dele Downs Kooley
Let’s not get crazy. We got a plan B outfit. Come on.
00:26:24:19 – 00:26:24:22
Kristen Graham
Yeah.
00:26:24:22 – 00:26:41:15
Libby Sundgren
But you know everything at all times. So I do love seeing people I used to work with because then I can catch up on what’s happening in the company and with all the other people I used to work with without but still keep my current job merch. Yeah.
00:26:41:15 – 00:26:58:00
Dele Downs Kooley
If the airport that’s the we’re a military family. And so for us, at one point in time my daughter actually thought everyone lived at the airport and you just circled around the airport and you would park, and someone you wanted would come out and get in the car.
00:26:58:02 – 00:26:59:02
Libby Sundgren
So the in.
00:26:59:03 – 00:26:59:19
Kristen Graham
Hers.
00:26:59:21 – 00:27:17:07
Dele Downs Kooley
Yes. Like she grew up nowhere near her family for the most part. So you went to the airport, someone you loved got in the car and came home with you, and sometimes she wanted to return them to the airport early. Yeah, I mean, hello, we all want to send people back a little early sometimes.
00:27:17:08 – 00:27:18:10
Kristen Graham
Relatable.
00:27:18:10 – 00:27:49:16
Dele Downs Kooley
So we the airport is the place. And when you talk about coworkers or loved ones, like I was at the airport checking in for a flight, turned around one of my favorite managers that I have ever had in my entire life was standing next to me, and I hugged her like, I mean, I hugged her so hard. I was so happy to see her and just hear about her life and what was happening right now in her life.
00:27:49:18 – 00:27:59:13
Dele Downs Kooley
And I mean, every time I went to the airport turn around, my daughter was standing next to me and I’m like, what are the chances that you would be at the same baggage claim as me?
00:27:59:15 – 00:28:00:18
Libby Sundgren
That’s crazy.
00:28:00:20 – 00:28:21:21
Dele Downs Kooley
Like, I love reunions and yes, I do love a least like you. I love to plan, because I do. I’m like, I don’t want to show up looking crazy. I want to look my best in whatever it is that I’m doing. So I like to have a little warning, but the impromptu ones are sometimes the best ones at airports, supermarkets.
00:28:21:23 – 00:28:25:14
Dele Downs Kooley
What do you think, Kristen? Jazz hands.
00:28:25:16 – 00:28:51:02
Kristen Graham
I have an airport story that hopefully will segue into the next reunion topic of running into your exes. But here’s my airport story. I know Alisha’s like, here’s my airport story. I have so many. There’s just so at the airport for at least. Yeah, but I do. I think that we should talk about that. The planned or accidental bump ins, former partners.
00:28:51:04 – 00:29:08:19
Kristen Graham
But a month ago, I don’t even think I’ve told any of you this yet. I was flying home from Chicago, waiting on my flight back to Seattle. I had done a keynote that morning, so I was, oh, it’s looking good. But I still had a long Uber ride. But, you know, when you’re at the airport and you’re like, I’m all right.
00:29:08:19 – 00:29:29:18
Kristen Graham
I’m not my usual airport gear, which is a hot mess, and I’m waiting. You know, everything gets super shoved in because there’s another flight next to you and everybody’s getting off the plane, and you, you’re that early boarding group. Hello, Alaska Airlines, shout out to Miss Amy. Waiting to get on. And my ex boyfriend walks off the plane that I’m about to get on.
00:29:29:18 – 00:29:49:10
Kristen Graham
And we’re in this narrow thing. You know, everybody’s shoved up. They’re trying to get down there that we literally have to walk by each other like this. It was the craziest experience, and I was just. I think we get like one of those where all the odds work in our favor because you look good. It’s on your terms and you’re just like, oh, hello.
00:29:49:12 – 00:29:51:16
Kristen Graham
But that was answer.
00:29:51:17 – 00:30:02:06
Dele Downs Kooley
I love that because it’s the looking good part. My ex that I thought I was going to marry is bald and fat, so I’m like, I dodged a bullet there, I don’t know.
00:30:02:07 – 00:30:08:01
Kristen Graham
Let’s be clear. All of our reunions, we’re going to be on the other side of hot.
00:30:08:03 – 00:30:10:04
Dele Downs Kooley
Hot, hot with the beach waves.
00:30:10:06 – 00:30:16:10
Kristen Graham
I know that you’re welcome that you got to do this for a minute. So, yeah.
00:30:16:12 – 00:30:18:22
Dele Downs Kooley
If I was you, I would want to be me too.
00:30:18:22 – 00:30:35:10
Kristen Graham
Too? Yeah. Great. My point was, those unexpected reunions that you get to the other side and you’re like, thank you. All things in the world. Yeah. So any other ex stories that people want to share, positive or negative.
00:30:35:12 – 00:30:41:17
Libby Sundgren
Have any good ones? They’re just I’m, you know, I don’t have any good ones.
00:30:41:21 – 00:30:52:17
Dele Downs Kooley
We have to have a dating episode at a different time. Because dating in your late in your 30s, 40s and 50s is wild. It is like the Wild West where.
00:30:52:17 – 00:30:56:01
Kristen Graham
Libby hasn’t even got to any of those decades. Yes, some.
00:30:56:03 – 00:31:01:22
Libby Sundgren
And so I like my 40th year. You entered it in December.
00:31:02:00 – 00:31:15:21
Dele Downs Kooley
Yeah. You don’t want to run into or maybe you do. It depends. Like I have to say, all of those crazy grocery store restaurant reunions, I’m like, I did really good. I don’t have any babies.
00:31:15:23 – 00:31:19:04
Kristen Graham
Like what?
00:31:19:06 – 00:31:21:06
Alysse Bryson
When lots of you have lots of babies.
00:31:21:06 – 00:31:21:22
Kristen Graham
Yeah, I.
00:31:21:22 – 00:31:40:18
Dele Downs Kooley
Do, but when you’re dating someone and they’re like, I don’t want to date you because you’re too old. Because nobody likes a 40 year old woman except for a 30 year old or a 50 year old. And so it felt so good that that guy that was like, no, because you’re not young enough for her.
00:31:40:19 – 00:31:41:19
Libby Sundgren
00:31:41:21 – 00:31:54:06
Dele Downs Kooley
I’m like, I’m living my best life because I don’t have a toddler who, because you married a 20 year old who didn’t have any kids. I’m like, okay, good for you.
00:31:54:08 – 00:31:57:02
Alysse Bryson
Maybe that’s what you want to do.
00:31:57:07 – 00:31:59:19
Libby Sundgren
Yeah. Oh, everyone’s dated there.
00:31:59:22 – 00:32:22:09
Dele Downs Kooley
Yeah. What is that? We’re the same age, but like, those are the. When you have those unexpected reunions that you feel like, oh, I dodged a bullet. Or God knew exactly. What is it? Tim McGraw’s unanswered prayers. When you have those reunions and you find out where you are, where they are and you’re like, oh, some of God skater’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
00:32:22:09 – 00:32:46:16
Dele Downs Kooley
Yeah. And those are the things that you learn when you go to those reunions. I mean, it shows up in so many other places in your life, but reunions are really great affirmation or that, jog if you go. I mean, it doesn’t have to be a high school reunion, because like I said, I’ve never gone to a single one, never want to.
00:32:46:18 – 00:33:07:22
Dele Downs Kooley
But it’s the reunions that you realize, okay, life didn’t go as planned. However, it’s a beautiful life. It’s the life that I’ve chosen. It’s the path that I’ve taken. Or maybe I want to adjust my path because this is not really what I need or want. Lutheran Amy Funko.
00:33:08:04 – 00:33:32:08
Kristen Graham
And I would say, because I loved I love what you just said, and I would say even a piggyback on that idea a little bit. Deli is the whole concept of getting together with purpose, right? There’s a reason for us gathering whatever that, you know, may be, whether it’s family, whether it’s where class of 94 Spartans or whatever it is.
00:33:32:08 – 00:33:53:09
Kristen Graham
But but I love that. It’s because we may not be connected now, physically or even not physically, but maybe in proximity. It’s similar proximity, but the whole point being, we can still connect, we can still have that shared memory and that shared experience.
00:33:53:11 – 00:34:07:22
Dele Downs Kooley
I think that whole thing about events in general is we’ve recorded several episodes together. They’re all about events like this even builds on the that first conversation around the idea of gathering.
00:34:08:00 – 00:34:09:08
Libby Sundgren
Pre-internet kind.
00:34:09:10 – 00:34:10:04
Kristen Graham
Of gathering on.
00:34:10:06 – 00:34:44:19
Dele Downs Kooley
Intention. I was turning around to look at my book stack, the Art of gathering, like the intention behind the gathering itself, whether it’s celebrating with intention, how far you’ve come in your life, or being intentional about coming back to the people that really mean something in your life. The accidentals, they’re all of those things. But I love these conversations because events really are the the life giving celebration of life itself.
00:34:44:19 – 00:35:23:12
Dele Downs Kooley
That’s that’s why we come together, whether it’s to celebrate how far we’ve come in high school, family, our chosen family. Because those tend to be my favorite celebration. As the military family member, I have deeply rooted family ties. However, being in the military meant I wasn’t going to be close to them. For two decades, I lived away from my family, and so the events of celebrating the the people, bringing people together that are part of who you are in the past, the present or the future.
00:35:23:13 – 00:35:45:21
Kristen Graham
It reminds me of that saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and they all have meaning and purpose to each of them. And as you said earlier, sometimes it didn’t work out for you, actually worked out for you. And those are the milestones in moment because of reunions where we’re able to see that, savor that, or release it.
00:35:45:23 – 00:35:47:05
Dele Downs Kooley
00:35:47:07 – 00:35:48:23
Libby Sundgren
Well, sad. Well said.
00:35:49:04 – 00:35:51:03
Dele Downs Kooley
We released it, I like well.
00:35:51:03 – 00:36:14:12
Libby Sundgren
This has been the best reunion. One of my favorite reunions of the month, when I see you get ALS. But that is a wrap for this episode of Beats Working. If you’ve got an idea or want to reach out, email us at info at Beats Working Dot show. Remember, every detail matters, every moment counts. And no matter what, the show and the reunion must go on.
