BEATS WORKING hosts Alysse Bryson and Libby Sundgren are joined at The Fun Table by Kristin Graham, Dele Downs Kooley, and Amy Liz Harrison for a deep dive into “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg. Together, they discuss the core concepts of effective communication, how different conversation styles affect event planning, and actionable strategies to foster deeper connections both personally and professionally. Tune in for laughs, real talk, and honest book reviews — plus practical tips you’ll want to steal for your next event.
Resources Mentioned:
- Book: “Supercommunicators”
- Another review from The Fun Table: “The Art of Gathering”
- Event: Sidekick Suppers
- Meet The Fun Table: Kristin Graham, Dele Downs Kooley, Amy Liz Harrison
- Alysse & Libby: Bios & LinkedIn
Connect with Us:
- Website: www.beatsworkingpodcast.com
- LinkedIn: @BEATS WORKING Show
- Instagram: @beatsworkingshow
- Facebook: @Beats Working Show
- YouTube: @BEATSWORKINGPODCAST
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BEATS WORKING is a platform on a mission to redeem work—the word, the place, and the way. We believe that work is the most honorable act in the universe, and through inspiring stories and practical insights, we want to transform the way people think about work and help them discover greater fulfillment in their lives. We invite you to join us as we build community through sharing and actively demonstrating what we learn.
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Transcript
The following transcript is not certified. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. The information contained within this document is for general information purposes only.
Alysse Bryson [00:00:00]:
I’m going to start with you because the post its in your background which if you have been following Kristin Graham for as long as I have, you should know that she loves herself a post it especially the colorful ones. And I kind of like how the colors match the different colors on the book we’re going to be talking about today. I don’t know if you planned that or not, but it seems it is aesthetically very pleasing to me. Which when we’re talking about events, I also like those to be esthetically pleasing, to be clear and deli. I will give a nod to your library because you have organized your books to be color coordinated, which is amazing. I also color coordinate my books and put them in their groups of blues and reds and whites and whatnot.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:00:46]:
It goes against my library science background of the Dewey decimal system.
Libby Sundgren [00:00:52]:
Just can’t catalog that way.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:00:55]:
Because you know, I’m all about the looks. About the looks. No numbers. Wow, I just made that up on the fly.
Kristin Graham [00:01:04]:
Well done.
Alysse Bryson [00:01:06]:
This is what happens at the Fun Table. We just can’t help ourselves from having fun. Welcome to Beats Working Winning the Game of Events where we share stories and strategies to turn any event or life moment into something unforgettable.
Libby Sundgren [00:01:20]:
Events are wild and the people who work in them are some of the most resilient humans on earth. If you know, you know.
Alysse Bryson [00:01:28]:
So come with us behind the curtain for a look at their most memorable experiences.
Libby Sundgren [00:01:33]:
As they say, the show must go on. So let’s get on with the show.
Alysse Bryson [00:01:44]:
Welcome to another episode of Beats Working Winning the Game of Events. My name is Elise Bryson and I am one of the co hosts here alongside my work wife for Life My Ride or Die Libby Sundgren. Hello. Hello. And we are in episode two of the Fun Table. This is where we get together once a month with our favorite party people and we circle around our virtual fun table and we talk about all things events and how we are winning the game of events. In the last episode we talked about the book the Art of Gathering and that was a great conversation. If you missed that episode, I highly recommend you go back and give it a listen while you’re there.
Alysse Bryson [00:02:30]:
Go ahead and give it a five star rating too. Thanks. And today we are talking about the book Super Communicators by Charles. I should know how to pronounce these things too. Do ig. All right, here’s the main idea of the book. Charles explores the art and science of effective communication, emphasizing the understanding the type of conversation, practical, emotional, social and aligning our approach accordingly can transform interactions into meaningful connections. Why does that matter if you’re in the events industry? Because the whole points of events are making connections.
Alysse Bryson [00:03:11]:
Right. And today we are welcoming back our party ride or dies. We have Kristen Deli and Amy who had joined us in the last episode. Hello ladies. Welcome back.
Kristin Graham [00:03:23]:
Hello friends.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:03:25]:
Hello.
Alysse Bryson [00:03:26]:
Hello. And we’re going to have another deep dive talking about books Now, I hope for our listeners, you know, we’re not always going to talk about books. I mean some of us are self proclaimed book nerds to be, to be, to be honest. And we do like to have our little events libraries at home as we continue to curate kind of what we think are best practices around events. And when we say events, we’re talking about events of all sizes. It could be like at Amy Liz Harrison’s house where she’s just having dinner but because she has 10 people in her family, that is definitely eventually. Or we could be talking about Kristin taking the stage and doing a speech to hundreds if not thousands of employees at some major brand or corporation. So events scale all sizes, but at the root of them is connection.
Alysse Bryson [00:04:20]:
That’s why we gather. And so let’s just jump into it today unless anybody else has any burning desire or hot topic that I failed to miss. No, no. Let’s go, let’s go. All right, Kristen, I’m going to start with you because the post its in your background which if you have been following Kristin Graham for as long as I have, you should know that she loves herself a post it, especially the colorful ones. And I kind of like how the colors match the different colors on the book we’re going to be talking about today. I don’t know if you plan that or not, but it seems it is aesthetically very pleasing to me which when we’re talking about events, I also like those to be aesthetically pleasing. To be clear and deli, I will give a nod to your library because you have organized your books to be color coordinated, which is amazing.
Alysse Bryson [00:05:13]:
I also color coordinate my books and put them in their groups of blues and reds and whites and whatnot.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:05:20]:
It goes against my library science background of the Dewey decimal system.
Libby Sundgren [00:05:26]:
Just can’t catalog that way.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:05:29]:
Because you know, I’m all about the looks. About the looks, no numbers. I just made that up on the fly.
Kristin Graham [00:05:39]:
Well done.
Alysse Bryson [00:05:40]:
This is what happens at the fun table. We just can’t help ourselves from having fun. Okay, Kristen.
Kristin Graham [00:05:46]:
Yes.
Alysse Bryson [00:05:47]:
Over to you and your colorful post.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:05:49]:
Its.
Kristin Graham [00:05:49]:
Well, thank you very much and I love to take strategic credit for it, but it’s really just so I don’t forget stuff. Let’s just be honest. So that’s kind of the that’s kind of like the fact that it’s colorful and distracts people is just a gift with purchase. So I love, love, love this topic because I have done communications for a living and yet there’s so much there that all of us can still learn, especially in a post Covid world. So that’s one of the elements that I really enjoyed with this book. But from a background perspective, the quick summary that I took from it was that being a super communicator is really about being a super listener. And so for all the people in my life who keep saying like, but I’m not a communicator, of course we are. From the very early evolutionary phases and the cave drawings and everything else, we are biologically wired to tell stories.
Kristin Graham [00:06:44]:
So don’t keep taking that skill off the table for you, as a lot of us tend to do. It’s such a important part of connection and anybody in the events, business or the gatherings that the intimacies, from small weddings to huge things, it is all about the details, as we know. And the details are shared through communication, whether it’s visual, audio, all of it. So we are all capable of being super communicators.
Libby Sundgren [00:07:11]:
So I just want to put that.
Kristin Graham [00:07:12]:
As a first branding. Can I get an amen?
Libby Sundgren [00:07:15]:
Amen, sister.
Alysse Bryson [00:07:17]:
Good for it.
Kristin Graham [00:07:18]:
Or whatever spiritual exclamation of your choice is because we should be.
Alysse Bryson [00:07:25]:
That was very, that was very inclusive of you.
Kristin Graham [00:07:27]:
Thank you. And I mean it. So within that, I really, really love how he talked in this book about how some people he did a lot of research, but also around what makes people stand out. And it’s not a socioeconomic element.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:07:43]:
It’s.
Kristin Graham [00:07:43]:
And it’s not a title in a, in an academic or corporate setting. It really becomes about. And we’ve all been in those situations where it’s sometimes we’ve been that person. People just kind of follow a voice. He gave examples of a juror room during courtroom deliberations. But there’s a lot of other cases. Where have you ever been with a group of people? Nobody can decide on dinner or an activity and somebody’s finally like, this is what we’re doing. And it’s not even a hierarchy.
Kristin Graham [00:08:13]:
It really just comes down from somebody who is listening or willing to step forward and bring together the communication. So I just want to reflect on that before we get into some of the examples. What else would the rest of you add Before I nerd up on other topics.
Libby Sundgren [00:08:29]:
I feel like when I read this, I was like, of course there are these three different types of conversations. Of course people communicate differently. But I just don’t know that I’ve ever read it in this way or heard it in this way. And actually, it made me feel a lot better about myself because that’s for Libby. Feeling good about ourselves, feeling good about herself. Because I am kind of an emotional person. I mean, I’m just. I’m kind of sensitive.
Libby Sundgren [00:09:07]:
I cried when people said no to buying my campfire candy, which is why I was never good at selling it, because I just could not have people say no. It just crushed my little soul. I do approach almost every conversation from an emotional place just because that’s how my brain is wired and how I. How I am. And I feel like if someone had explained this to me in these words 20 years ago, I would have taken so many more things less personally, even if they told me, you know, 30 years ago when I was 10. But, like, I just. It really helped frame just, you know, memories and people in my life in different ways. Yeah.
Libby Sundgren [00:09:56]:
Where I could just be like, you know what? They. Of course. Of course that I cried in that conversation because I’m emotional. But they’re like. But they’re coming from, like, a logical, like, practical place. So. And that’s how they communicate. So I just thought it was really, really helpful.
Libby Sundgren [00:10:14]:
So that’s. That’s my two cents.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:10:17]:
So, Libby, I would say word on all that. I totally identified with what you just shared. I, too, could not sell the chocolate. So guess what happened? I ate all the chocolate. That’s what happened there for me.
Alysse Bryson [00:10:32]:
So. And we ate it. Okay.
Libby Sundgren [00:10:35]:
Mint meltaways were so good.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:10:37]:
So good. Right? Okay. So for me, I first started reading this, and I have to confess. So I was a communication theory major in college, and I was like, I don’t get it. This guy went to Yale, Like, New York Times bestseller, Harvard, all this. And I’m like, this is not very. I wasn’t feeling it. Does that make sense? It was just like, college.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:11:06]:
Like, it was just the same stuff I learned, but put in a book. So I was kind of. I started off. I’m like, yeah, okay. Communication theory and Socratic seminars. All this stuff is coming back. Like, this is not a thing. Like, not a profound thing.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:11:24]:
Then I realized I’m reading his three different, you know, buckets that he talks about. The practical conversations versus the emotional conversations. So, like, prefrontal cortex versus amygdala versus Social, just a social conversation, you know, that’s not a hot topic topic. And I was thinking, okay, do I want to be helped? Do I want to hug? Do I want to be heard? Yeah. All of a sudden it dawns on me that all of the resentment filled communicative interactions that I’ve had, I’m not going to say in my lifetime, but I’m going to say recently, within the past decade and a half, particularly with like school volunteering, have stemmed from this root of me feeling like, oh, maybe I thought I communicated well, but maybe I don’t. And really looking at my part and having this realization when I read this that like, no, actually I’m in some vortexes that are like, I am generally a super communicator in a world like with school volunteering when I’m around a lot of non super communicators. And I thought the problem was me. And the problem isn’t always me.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:12:55]:
The problem was that I didn’t realize, oh, they’re not speaking my language. Like, they’re not. We’re on different paths and not one is better than another. It’s that they’re approaching things from this practical standpoint and I’m not getting the right bridge, you know, to be able to get my point across because I’m usually coming from an emotional standpoint as well. So I really enjoyed this book after that because I was able to see, man, I got so much room to grow, which is an obvious thing in my life anyway, I have a lot of growth to do and I get to continue being a lifelong learner. But like, this was really poignant in realizing, oh yeah, sometimes, you know, I’m. We’re not speaking the same dialect. And I thought it was great.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:13:49]:
I loved it.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:13:50]:
Amy. That’s the. I got excited when you were talking because I lived in Italy and I lived in Germany and I go back to both of those experiences because it’s. We’re both, we might both think we’re saying the same thing. I’m saying it in English, you’re saying it in Italian. And we don’t realize, we don’t realize because we’re not speaking the same language. So we’re not hearing each other. And that was one of the things that I got excited about as well, is the opportunity to identify.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:14:26]:
Oh, if I said it this way, they would hear me better.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:14:31]:
Right.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:14:32]:
Or it would be understood. And I will say that one. I was super excited about this book when I started reading it. Kristen. I will say that I’m not a Communicator. But I come from a long line of storytellers, so I do communicate. But there’s the over communication versus super communication. And coming from a background where hostage negotiation was in my background and understanding human psychology, I’ve always leveraged that.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:15:06]:
But as I was listening to the book and reading the book, because I did both, one of the things that jumped out at me was strengths. My strengths don’t necessarily. If you ever, ever done a strengths finder, my strengths don’t necessarily necessarily lean into super communicator mode always. So there was the self awareness piece as I was reading. I was like, oh, yes, this is the way that I operate just on autopilot. And if I want to connect or if I want to make sure that people hear me in certain situations, whether it’s the practical communication, I will say that I grew up with a lot of practice, practical communication versus emotional communication. So just understanding the different kinds of communication and the example of the. The gentleman that came in at the beginning of the book and they did the interviews with him and how does he connect? It was a reminder to me.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:16:08]:
Kristen mentioned this at the beginning. It’s an opportunity to listen better. Because that listening piece, to understand how are they communicating. Like, we can think about how are we communicating, but it’s the listening part that gives us the cues on how. How might I approach this differently to actually get my message across. So those were the things I enjoyed.
Alysse Bryson [00:16:30]:
I think I want to jump in and add just a note about listening, because there are. There are two different ways to listen. One is to listen and literally be listening and trying to understand what the other person is communicating communicating, and the other is listening to respond. I have done both. I’m definitely guilty of listening to respond. But when you’re listening to respond, I would argue you’re not actually listening at all. And so I think when we’re talking about listening, I’m going to just make the assumption or make the clarification that we’re talking about actually listening to understand what is being communicated. And one phrase that we use a lot around work P2P, which is the parent company behind this podcast, is because we have a lot of kind of different language that maybe isn’t used in the outside world.
Alysse Bryson [00:17:26]:
And sometimes I understand what someone’s saying, sometimes I don’t. But what I like to do is, let me repeat back what I think I heard you say. That way we can quickly figure out if we’re in alignment or not. And a lot of times when I’m Communicating with Dan Rogers, my boss. We will laugh and realize, oh, no, we have a major disconnect, right? A major disconnect. So that’s a little tool that I’ve learned a while ago that when you repeat back. Let me. Let me tell you what I think I heard you say.
Alysse Bryson [00:18:00]:
Not only does it show that you’ve been actively listening and you’re honoring the words of the communicator, but that you’re also authentically trying to understand.
Kristin Graham [00:18:10]:
I think that’s so good, Elise, because one of the challenges that most of us have is also secret conversations. Like, we have it in our heads, or we’re like, I shouldn’t have to say that. That’s really obvious. Or we are approaching a conversation even though we’ve played it out like a chess game multiple times before we even broach it with the person in front of us. So we have unintentional shorthand that gets in the way of actually exchanging with people, whether it’s facts or whether it’s feelings. It becomes a real barrier that we don’t always recognize that we’re doing. And one of my favorite quotes says, we are drowning in information and starving for wisdom. And I would add on to that, especially in a post Covid world, we’re starving to be heard to know that somebody out there took the time, the moments to see if what we said matters.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:19:06]:
Kristen, that’s what I called manual. I wrote everything you need to know about me in this book, but you haven’t read it yet. Like, we have these expectations for how we want people to respond to us. I mean, shouldn’t my husband know to not put it in the sink, put it in the dishwasher and that it’s happened three times and now I’m pissed off, right? And then I explode and he’s like, wait, I just put the cup in the sink.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:19:34]:
So I love this so much, and a lot of this is so much about clarification, right? And I think especially in a marriage relationship or a partnership or some. Or a work relationship, like a friendship even, right? We get caught in kind of these dances, right? Like, I do this step and then you do this step. And then perhaps we get into like, the same argument. Like, my husband and I can come up with, like, oh, it’s like, okay, a CD changer or something if you’re Gen X, like, I am. Like, just pull that one up. Let’s get that argument on rotation. Like, I could tell you the whole thing. And so now it’s like, you know, the challenge for me is to take that emotional side of it, right? Take that whole idea of my amygdala firing and just go, wait a minute.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:20:30]:
You know what I’m trying to do here? I’m trying to dig up this old tape. I’m trying to play it because I’m feeling some fear or an inner need or insecurity or whatever, and I’m expecting you to fill it.
Kristin Graham [00:20:42]:
And.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:20:43]:
And once I kind of get that out of the way, I’m like, you know what? He just wants to know what kind of car we need to rent. That’s what he. You know, there’s usually just like, this practical thing, right? And if I can get past that emotion of it, how much easier it is to just go. I’m going to read into this.
Alysse Bryson [00:21:05]:
You know, another thing that we do at work, P2P that I’ve never done at any of the other companies that I’ve worked at, But I think it’s very valuable. We have a PowerPoint presentation that everybody gets during onboarding, and it’s a How to work with Me. And it’s about five slides. It’s pretty simple. It also has our scores from, I think, a Colby test and maybe one other personality type test. But it’s like, this is the best way to work. Work with me. And it answers all kinds of quick things, and there’s some funny things on it, and there’s some serious things on it.
Alysse Bryson [00:21:36]:
But what I love is that all. Everybody in the employee. All of the employees in our company, and it’s not a big company, it’s about 20 people. They’re all saved in this one place on our SharePoint, right? So if I’m having a struggle with a coworker, and I would. I would highly recommend anybody that leads an event team that’s listening to this, this could be a really good tool for your arsenal, is have everybody on your team fill out this how to work with me and. And make it whatever you need to make it, that works for your team. Because when I’m having a struggle with a team member, a coworker, and I’m like, why are we just not seeing eye to eye on this? The first thing I do is I go back to their how to work with me deck, and I’m like, okay, what is on here that I can refresh my brain with so I can work with this person better? And it might be as simply as simple as, oh, Libby loves candy. And we’re having a breakdown in communication.
Alysse Bryson [00:22:30]:
It’s gotten a little heated, so I’M going to soften it up by bringing her some candy or talking about candy just to kind of lighten the mood so we can kind of get into our problem solving of whatever the issue is. Now that’s a really weird example because Libby and I basically never have any issues. We get along perfectly all the time.
Libby Sundgren [00:22:50]:
Never?
Alysse Bryson [00:22:51]:
Never. No.
Libby Sundgren [00:22:52]:
But it is a great tool because, you know, on there, people, you can say your strengths, like things that bug you, things that motivate you. And I can look at that and look at somebody’s. I don’t like people who don’t take responsibility for something or, you know, something like that. And mine is I don’t like people who blame things on other people or who, you know, who don’t like. That’s not the greatest example. So I’ll think of a better one and I’ll put it in the show notes. But it can really highlight how someone can interpret a situation so differently because like where you would see it as somebody taking one for the team and you know, being a team player and being like, no, we’re all in this together. Like we don’t need.
Libby Sundgren [00:23:42]:
You don’t need to call anybody out. Someone else can see that as well. You don’t want to take responsibility for this thing that nobody else needs to really be involved in. You know, it. It is extremely helpful.
Kristin Graham [00:23:56]:
So that is such a brilliant point, Libby, because it goes back to what I said versus what you heard.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:24:03]:
Right.
Kristin Graham [00:24:04]:
And those. That’s a yes. And those are both true in the conversation. And so really having that self awareness and that’s what super communicators do to say this was my intention and I can recognize this was the impact. And the book talks about this goes back to what Deli and Elise were saying. There’s really three types of conversations. It’s what’s this really about? So for Amy that was we just need to rent a car. How do we feel about something? Seeking to understand and then who are we? And those are all examples that we just gave.
Kristin Graham [00:24:37]:
And without a manual like Deli had or, or that work P2P has about ways to work with me. How could people know our books and our manuals if we don’t share them first?
Amy Liz Harrison [00:24:50]:
Which I think brings up such a good point that he made about asking questions.
Alysse Bryson [00:24:55]:
Yes.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:24:55]:
Asking a lot of deep questions or, you know, what made you want to go to medical school was something that he was giving as an example, you know, so that you get sort of below that surface and have a better understanding of somebody. I think for me, that really helps give things context.
Kristin Graham [00:25:15]:
I agree. And it wasn’t just asking questions. The book, he said, super communicators ask 10 to 20 times more questions than the average person.
Libby Sundgren [00:25:25]:
Wow.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:25:26]:
Not all at once.
Kristin Graham [00:25:27]:
I mean, they’re not barraging rapid fire questions.
Libby Sundgren [00:25:30]:
An interview. This is an interview conversation.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:25:33]:
Uncle Buck moment.
Kristin Graham [00:25:36]:
Keeping that framing that if you feel that you’re like staying with that, because there is that opportunity for others to feel heard. And we do edit ourselves, so the questions become more probative to also find out, is this a what’s it really about? Is this a feeling conversation? Is this so that we can respond in the conversation that’s really being had?
Dele Downs Kooley [00:25:56]:
Well, and from an events planning perspective, because that’s why we’re all here. As you’re talking, Kristen, I’m thinking about the events where I feel like that was amazing if I paid for the events. So when I got married and when my daughter got married and when my son got married, we had event planners. The best experiences came from when someone asked a lot of questions. And I remember sitting down with my wedding planner and knowing exactly what vision I had in my head, what experience I wanted to have on the day of my wedding, what experience I wanted to have first and foremost, because I was paying for it. And then what experience did I want my guests to have that would align with that that day? And she asked a lot of questions. We sat down for two hours. She asked a lot of questions.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:26:54]:
And at the. I will say that not only did she do it, she nailed it. Because the makeup artist said, this is the most relaxed day of prep I’ve ever experienced in my life. We nailed it. That was my vision. That’s what we did. The people who came to the wedding, they had a great time. So it’s the asking the questions from an event planning perspective.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:27:21]:
What questions are we asking to get to what not only what are they saying, but what do they mean? That goes back to hostage negotiation. And I never thought I would use that hostage negotiation skill as much as I did when I was working in corporate, because there’s, as you said, Kristin, what people are saying and what do they mean? And those are two very different things. So I thought this book was great. Elise, you probably have some things that you want to ask us or point us in the direction of so that we don’t run too long because the attention economy is real. But this really was a useful book. Regardless of putting together an event or not just being a better communicator, if.
Libby Sundgren [00:28:08]:
You want to Become a super communicator. We host these really great dinners. Go to secretpsychicsuppers.com we host them about once a month, and they’re small. You’re at small tables. We have a very specific. You know, we start with a specific guided conversation, but we really just see how it progresses and how it goes and kind of guide the night based on that. But it really is all about asking questions, actively listening, really. You know, I mean, I’m emotional, so I love these dinners.
Libby Sundgren [00:28:47]:
It’s not like everybody’s crying at them, but it is a really great space to practice being vulnerable, being a good listener, and just being a super communicator.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:29:02]:
And you could run into one of us.
Alysse Bryson [00:29:04]:
Yeah, yeah, there’s that.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:29:06]:
Like, that’s the year.
Alysse Bryson [00:29:09]:
You might even end up. Wait for it at the fun table.
Libby Sundgren [00:29:17]:
Full circle.
Alysse Bryson [00:29:18]:
Full circle. Well, we are going to wind this conversation down because we know that the only people listening to this podcast are in the event industry, and we know how busy you are. We know that you have limited time, you’ve got things to do, you’ve got projects to manage. But before we sign off here for the day, let’s score the book, ladies. Is this going in your events library at home? A scale of 1 to 5? Amy Liz Harrison, I will start with you.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:29:46]:
Well, I’m gonna say it was a four. I’m gonna give it a four. I thought it was great. I thought there were a lot of things that I hadn’t thought about in a long time that are way different today for me that I need to really learn and relearn and open my mind to. And one last final thing about the questions, I was going to say I loved Deli. What you shared about the questions, your event planner asking you questions. Because sometimes, as the person at an event who wants to create it and needs help and is investing in a planner, an event planner, it’s like we don’t know what we don’t know. So sometimes we don’t know the information to give that is necessary for.
Amy Liz Harrison [00:30:30]:
For an event planner. So I love that she asked you so many questions. 4.5.
Alysse Bryson [00:30:36]:
Oh, she just took her score up just like that. Wow. Wow, nothing. Everything is fluid here. Deli, what’s your score?
Dele Downs Kooley [00:30:43]:
Okay, so if I’m rating it on a scale of 1 to 5 for event planners, first, I’m going to say if I’m just rating on a scale of 1 to 5, I’m going to give us a solid 4.5. If I’m rating it on a scale of 1 to 5 for people who are in the event center space planning events, I will say that I’m probably going to give it a 3.5. It’s great for interpersonal communications so that you understand the different styles of communication. It’s helpful for conflict resolution. It’s not specifically focused on events planning logistics. If you’re hosting like you’re facilitating or moderating an event, then it will help you be better at hosting panels, having those facilitation conversations. So just putting it out there. If you want to be a better communicator.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:31:40]:
This is a should buy book. You should buy it. It’s a great book. Add it to your library. Don’t just add it, read it, and then take a couple of the key takeaways and implement them into your communication. Don’t just buy the book. High performers have a tendency to collect things. Read it and take one or two things and add it into what you’re going to do.
Alysse Bryson [00:32:02]:
I don’t know anything about buying books and putting them on a bookshelf and never reading them. I don’t.
Kristin Graham [00:32:08]:
Or color coding them in the pile that you didn’t read yet.
Alysse Bryson [00:32:11]:
Yeah.
Libby Sundgren [00:32:12]:
You’ve never done that? Never.
Alysse Bryson [00:32:13]:
Libby, your score, Libby?
Libby Sundgren [00:32:16]:
I’m gonna give it a four. I found it personally to be a very good read. As in, like, it really made me think about the way I communicate and how probably 99% of my, like tears or internal dramas because I’m having a different conversation than other people. Will I ever read it again? Probably not, but maybe in like 10 years. I also will. To be clear, I will never throw it away or donate it. I mean, it will stay on my bookshelf coded by author’s last name. Yeah, but so I think it was very helpful.
Libby Sundgren [00:33:02]:
Yes. Maybe not some. If you’re, you know, Planning like a 2000 person event, it might not. The things that. It might not translate directly to that specific kind of a situation. But, you know, I think it can help anybody in any kind of a workplace, to be honest.
Alysse Bryson [00:33:20]:
All right, Kristen, take us out here, friend.
Kristin Graham [00:33:25]:
I’m going to give it a four, and that’s a nerd four. Because I love me my books. The reason I’m saying it’s across the board 4 is it will validate that there’s no one size fits all on how to be a super communication communicator. I think it can liberate you from ascribing yourself as not good at this. And the other section, which goes back to what Jelly said, it’s the questions, but ways to ensure that they’re being effective. He talks about looping for understanding that section alone. And some of the tips and tactics to try are really helpful of making sure that you’re getting out what’s in their magical head.
Alysse Bryson [00:34:05]:
Okay. All right.
Libby Sundgren [00:34:07]:
And you, what about you?
Alysse Bryson [00:34:08]:
I. I’m. Ladies. You know, podcasting with Libby Sungren is never boring. And the sound effects just. They just.
Libby Sundgren [00:34:27]:
They just keep coming.
Alysse Bryson [00:34:28]:
They just keep coming.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:34:30]:
It’s one of the many services she provides. She’s.
Alysse Bryson [00:34:34]:
I’m listening. I’m always. I’m always listen. I’m always extending grace. Okay, first of all, I. I got this book on Audible first and that was a big mistake. It was like. It was too.
Alysse Bryson [00:34:47]:
It didn’t work for me on Audible. So once I got it in my little hand, Much better. I think there’s a lot of good, meaty information in here. I will give it a solid 4, but aesthetically, I will give it a 4.5 because I appreciate the ombre color scheme going down. Going down the front. I find that very pleasing.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:35:10]:
Very satisfying.
Alysse Bryson [00:35:12]:
Very satisfying. And this will go on my library shelf in the white book section. Not by alphabetical. Alphabetical letter. I am with Deli. We are the home edit ladies and we organize bicolor. Will I highlight in here? Unlikely. Would I refer this book to someone? Probably, depending on the conversation.
Alysse Bryson [00:35:37]:
Also, I would like it to be stated for the record, I bought it in large print because I’m about to turn 50 for you. I’m about to turn 50 and large print and readers are where it’s at for me. I don’t know if any of you noticed at the beginning of this conversation, Libby just slid in. The fact that she’s basically the youngest one in this group.
Libby Sundgren [00:35:58]:
Yes.
Alysse Bryson [00:35:58]:
But I just. Yeah, she totally slid that in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re going to continue.
Libby Sundgren [00:36:04]:
Anyway, I wasn’t trying to reveal anything, but if it makes anyone feel better, the second it hit my birthday month last year, I have. I am targeted non stop. And I’m. I’m convinced. I’ve been in perimenopause for 20 years. So, you know, it’s a confusing time to be 40. It’s a very.
Alysse Bryson [00:36:26]:
I don’t want to. Like, here’s what we’re going to go out on, ladies. Drew Barrymore is about to take the COVID of the next aarp.
Kristin Graham [00:36:34]:
She already did. I got it in the mail.
Alysse Bryson [00:36:36]:
Okay.
Libby Sundgren [00:36:36]:
Yeah.
Alysse Bryson [00:36:37]:
That’s where we’re at. That’s where we’re at.
Kristin Graham [00:36:42]:
Hey, I just want to See, a.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:36:43]:
Birthday party at a casino and the two birthday girls got a senior citizens discount. And I’m telling you right now that 50 is the new 30 and I am going to rock it.
Libby Sundgren [00:36:56]:
I agree.
Alysse Bryson [00:36:57]:
Okay.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:36:58]:
Also, I would like to start a playlist for the soundtrack that comes up as we’re having these conversations. I’m not even kidding.
Libby Sundgren [00:37:12]:
That’s a really good idea.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:37:13]:
A lot of songs that were flowing through my little ADHD brain.
Alysse Bryson [00:37:18]:
Yeah. All right.
Kristin Graham [00:37:19]:
That’s gonna be a copyright issue right away, but I love it.
Alysse Bryson [00:37:22]:
We’ll go for it. We’ll go for it.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:37:24]:
It’s okay. We don’t have to publish it. It’s just for me.
Libby Sundgren [00:37:26]:
But I mean, sure, we. We’ll put it on Spotify. Anyone. We’ll share it with anyone.
Dele Downs Kooley [00:37:33]:
Playlist.
Kristin Graham [00:37:35]:
Yeah.
Alysse Bryson [00:37:35]:
And for our many, many, many, many, many, many, many listeners and fans at home, if there is a hot topic you would like us to discuss at the fun table or a book that you think we should review or an event we should go to, like, we want to hear from you. We want to hear. We definitely want to hear your trials and errors of what happens behind the scenes of events, because that’s kind of our favorite. But until the next time, we hope that you are finding ways at winning the game of events. And we will see you next time here at Beats Working. Thanks for listening to Beats Winning the Game of Events, where we explore what it takes to make moments unforgettable.
Libby Sundgren [00:38:18]:
If you’re leaving with a little more inspiration, a little more perspective, and a big sideache from all of the laughing at our funny jokes, then we’ve done our job.
Alysse Bryson [00:38:27]:
Beats Working is a work. P2P production. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review us on your favorite podcast platforms.
Libby Sundgren [00:38:38]:
Your support helps us keep the magic going.
